Rockies Razorback

Confessions Vol. 1

2011-12-02T11:13:00.014-07:00

Today I'm linking up with Leslie at A Blonde Ambition for her Confessional Friday.

1) I confess that my black Anthropologie leggings, which I wore yesterday, have a gynormous hole on the inner seam of the right upper thigh. I have neither the sewing ability or the discipline to sit down and fix this problem, so I continue to wear them. I should buy new ones, but I can rarely afford anything from Anthro, so I hold on, hoping that I will never be in any position where someone can see this large hole.

2) I confess that I canceled an appointment with a personal trainer at my new gym in order to have Happy Hour at On the Border with Jarred and some of his co-workers. Instead of burning 500 calories with a rigorous workout, I consumed about 1000 with a sizable amount of queso.

3) I confess that I have not purchased one single solitary Christmas present yet. Edited to add: After reading many of the link-ups on A Blonde Ambition, it would appear that I am not alone in this plight. Sorry for the pedestrian confession.

4) I confess that I'm a chicken when it comes to talking to famous or semi-famous people. Last night after the Lady Antebellum concert, Jarred wanted me to talk to Edens Edge to find out what part of Arkansas they're from and I couldn't do it. Similarly, last year he got me "meet and greet" passes with Lady Antebellum and I just stood there, wordlessly taking a picture with them, instead of telling them how great I think they are. I am special.

5) I confess that I don't see the use in wearing a coat if you are going to be walking a distance of less than 100 feet from your car that is warm into a building that is warm. My husband gets on to me all the time about this, but I hate wearing coats or keeping up with them once I get indoors.

Five should be good for today. I'm sure I'll have more for future posts. Have a wonderful weekend!

25 Days of Jarred

2011-12-01T10:36:00.003-07:00

My husband, Jarred, will be 25 years old on the 25th of this month. Since it's his Golden Birthday, and since his birthday is on Christmas Day, I thought we should celebrate all month. So when he woke up this morning, I surprised him with my plan for 25 days of celebrating Jarred. Each day he gets a card that tells him what his surprise is for the day.

Today's surprise: Tickets to see Lady Antebellum tonight at the World Arena! I won't lie; it's kind of a treat for me, too. The look on his face this morning, when he discovered the first week of cards posted on the bathroom mirror, was priceless. I am so excited for some of the upcoming surprises! The fun part for me is that I've basically planned twenty-five dates in a row for us, which will make our December so much fun!

I'm going to try to chronicle all twenty-five days on the blog. Hopefully I'll remember to take pictures of some of the more interesting surprises, but I probably won't because I'm terrible about taking pictures.

Happy December!

Peeves, of the Pet Variety

2011-11-15T09:48:00.006-07:00

My nerves seem to be a little, ah, frayed this week. I can't seem to shake off my frustrations, so in the spirit of giving, I've decided to share them with you all. You will likely find the peeves listed below to be petty and not worth mentioning. I am well aware.

1) If you enter the bathroom, Random County Employee, and I am the only person in it among empty stalls aplenty, please refrain from choosing the stall right next to me and then proceeding to really take care of business. I have a public bathroom bubble and you obviously do not. I assure you, it is you who should be embarrassed.
* I am referencing more than one experience here. It is a frequent enough occurrence that it has become #1 on my list of peeves.

2) If you are going to write "more on that later..." on your blog then I fully expect you to write more about the subject that you alluded to in a timely manner. I recall all of the subjects you promised to tell me more about. If you do not intend to divulge information about your crummy weekend, your past loves, or your coffee mishap, then please don't string me along. I am a naturally curious being and I can't afford to dedicate any of my brain power to wondering just what happened to you at Starbucks for all of eternity.
* I know, sad that I care about the experiences of complete strangers this much, but I do.

3) Christmas is not a season if you insist on listening to its music year-round. Is the weather outside truly frightful in September? Is it? It's degrading to Bing Crosby and the entire genre not to give Christmas music its rightful season. The season between Thanksgiving and New Years. And don't even get me started on the slights against Thanksgiving. Give that poor holiday its due!

4) Boots. Yeah, I'm t.o.'ed (ticked off, not Terrell Owen'ed) at boots. Because I have unusually small feet, but apparently fairly large calves. Just because a person has small feet doesn't mean they have tiny calves, boot makers. Would it KILL you to make that little elastic extender at the top of my boots just a BIT stretchier so that I don't end up with a blood clot? Would it?

5) It may not look like it, Fitness Manager at my new gym, but I know what a treadmill is. I don't need a tour of the facilities. I have been to a gym before. I joined your gym online in order to avoid having to deal with people like you. I prefer not to be asked a litany of questions about my health and fitness practices while you raise your little eyebrows at my answers. I don't believe for one second that you "used to be 250 pounds" because if you did, you would know that people who are getting back on the fitness train (for the six-thousandth round trip) don't want to discuss all of the personal choices they've made about working out with a complete stranger. I have a difficult time believing that your interest lies solely in the condition of my heart rather than in judging me, thou of the 3% body fat.

Perhaps tomorrow I'll write about things I like, if I can think of any.

An Introduction of Sorts

2011-11-04T13:49:00.003-06:00

I'm linking up with Kelly's Korner again today to try to get someone to read my blog.

I kid. I kid. Actually, Kelly's "Show Us Your Life" series has helped me think of a couple of posts recently. I have so much trouble coming up with things to post. Obviously this is a great thing to say if you're trying to get people to read your blog. Sorry, new folks. This is not the inspiring, hilarious, or creative blog you were looking for. Move along now.

If you're new to the blog, allow me to introduce myself. My name is Micah. I'm a thirty year old newlywed. My husband is a twenty-four year old newlywed. There is an age difference there, if you're paying attention. And I do. Pay attention, that is. To every single wrinkle I have that he doesn't.

Some fun facts to help you get to the "root" of my personality and this blog:
~I have cried, not once, but TWICE this week at commercials. Seriously. I mean, have you seen that one where the dad is sending videos of his daughter's life to an e-mail account he created for her so that she can watch her childhood when she's older? Tear. Jerker.

~I am borderline narcoleptic (self-diagnosed). You will not find a person who can fall asleep faster, more often, or for longer than I can.

~I am currently the accidental member of two different gyms. I do not use either of them. This should be cleared up by the 15th of this month. The two memberships. Not the use of said memberships. That has to be cleared up by discipline. I don't have any.

~I got some beets in the organic "bin" of foods that I have delivered every other week. I can honestly say that I have no idea what to do with a beet. I don't think I've ever even seen a beet that came right out of the ground. Do I peel it? Does it need to marinate in some type of liquid? #beetproblems

I think that about covers it.

I Need a Little Upslope Flow

2011-10-25T16:52:00.003-06:00

Upslope flow is a fancy weather term, for all you meteorologically-challenged readers. Also known as orographic lifting. It means that there's going to be an energetic disturbance and, like, some other stuff. Then the wind will switch with some other wind and, uh, it'll get cold or something.

Weather.com taught me everything I know about upslope flow which, as you can see, is not much. Ultimately it means that I should wake up to lots of snow tomorrow morning and by then end of the day, my yard should look like the above picture.

Don't fail me now, meteorologists. I LOVE a good snow day and I have all of the ingredients ready to make (more) popcorn balls. There is absolutely not a better snow day snack out there. I just realized the other day that our house doesn't have a fireplace, though. Bummer. I'm perceptive like that. So hopefully I'll be curled up in front of a space heater tomorrow, sipping hot tea and eating popcorn balls, looking out at a Winter Wonderland.

Do your job, upslope flow, and no one will get hurt.

Couponing Doesn't Have to be Extreme

2011-10-21T09:36:00.005-06:00

I'm linking up with Kelly's Korner today to talk about money saving tips.

Now, I'm no Extreme Couponer, but I do occasionally save a good bit of money on things that Jarred and I actually need.

I've been couponing for about 9 months now. With wedding planning and honeymooning, my couponing has fallen off some, but I'm ready to get back into it with vigor.

Here are some things I do to try to keep couponing manageable:
1) Follow blogs that do coupon match-ups for you. You can waste many precious hours looking through coupons and ad inserts trying to find the best deals. Instead, I follow bloggers who are paid to do it as their full-time job. They are more thorough than I am and know more about couponing than I do. Locally, I follow Springs Bargains to help me with grocery deals in my area. I also follow Coupon Mom and Passion for Savings to get deals for national chains like Walgreens.
One note, they generally require an e-mail address to follow your their site. Your inbox can get cluttered pretty quickly depending on who you follow, so I suggest creating an e-mail address just for couponing.

2) Get coupons from multiple sources. Our Kroger affiliate has digital coupons that you can load to your store card, so I use this a lot for the products that I know I buy often. I also clip coupons from the ad inserts in the paper. I only get the Sunday paper from both the Colorado Springs paper and the Denver paper. We pay about a dollar a week for both of these papers and it is definitely worth it in the end. Ask friends and family for their coupon inserts. My mother in-law always gives me hers, so I usually have several coupons for each product. On-line coupons are also a great way to add some value to your coupon stack.

3) Don't automatically throw away coupons for things you think you don't need. I have often arrived at the store to find a deal that is a "money maker" and realized that I didn't clip the coupon for that item. Now I keep a coupon binder with all the coupons I've clipped. I pull out the coupons I need before I enter the store, but still carry the binder in case there is a deal that crops up that I haven't planned for.

4) Know your store's coupon policy.
--Some stores have policies that are not well advertised, but that work to your advantage. Our Kroger affiliate, King Soopers, doubles all printed coupons up to $.50. This means that each $.50 coupon I cut becomes a dollar that I save on that item, often making the item much cheaper than even the larger grocery chains.

--Understand the difference between a manufacturer's coupon and a store coupon. Some stores print their own coupons in ad inserts. Some stores will allow you to use a store coupon and a manufacturer's coupon for each purchased item. Look for sales that allow this policy and you will double your savings for each item and will sometimes end up making money on the item.

5) Be a courteous couponer. There's nothing more annoying than someone who tries to get around the rules. Be organized about your couponing and try not to frustrate the other customers in the store. Try not to clean the store out of certain products just because you have a coupon.

I have a lot more tips, but these are things I've learned from others who coupon well and save lots on their grocery bills.

Topics, They Elude Me

2011-10-18T11:29:00.005-06:00

I have been so frazzled over the last oh, um, twelve months that I can't get my thoughts in order enough to write a coherent blog post. Planning a wedding is time consuming, y'all. It's not half as time consuming as trying to change your dang last name, though. Seriously? Hardest thing I've ever done. It takes commitment and a tenacious spirit. I have neither, so I've given up and now spend most of my time curled into a little ball, crying tears of pure frustration.

Something that happened to me today at work: I sent an agency-wide e-mail notifying my co-workers of the name change. I got a reply from the lady who manages our resource library telling me that I had checked out a book in March of 2008 and she'd like it back, thankyouverymuch. I checked out that book before I started this blog, people. And do you know where it's been since then? On my desk. That, my friends, is procrastination at its saddest.

Something that is making me very unhappy: While I was away on my honeymoon, the county decided to start charging its employees for parking. Now, I'm not technically an employee (I'm a community partner housed in the county building), but I was still required to reserve and pay for a parking spot. I failed to reserve my spot. As such, I am required to park in a lot that is approximately 1/2 mile from my office and up a hill that rises about 500 feet in elevation. It's my own personal Incline. I am a home visitor. I leave the office multiple times per day. Need I explain the problem any further? My already questionable productivity has really taken a hit. I spend at least an hour a day walking to and from my car. On the up side, I consider it my daily workout.

Something that is making me feel less than adequate: Pinterest. I love Pinterest, to be sure. It's just that sometimes it makes me hyperventilate because there are so many things I need to do! For example, I need to make all of my old sweaters into crafty pillows or scarves! It's imperative that I begin to craft light fixtures out of twine, starch, and latex balloons! And what will happen if I don't figure out how to modge-podge our wedding invitation into a classic and creative showpiece? You know what I really need to do? Fold the load of laundry that's been in my dryer since Saturday. I'd like to know where all these crafty people find the time.

Something I accomplished recently: Watching ALL SIX Star Wars movies with my husband. I had never seen any of them. Now I have. Jarred recapped our viewings here.

Something I'm about to do: Eat my lunch! Goodbye.

Three Week-a-versary!

2011-10-14T09:44:00.012-06:00

Hi Blog Land! As always, it's been a while. I had a good excuse this time, though! I married the love of my life three weeks ago and he's been forcing me to watch all the Star Wars movies in my free time in order to make me a "suitable wife." Ha!

Truly, we've been winding down after the wedding and honeymoon and normal life is just resuming. I'm posting some candid shots of our wedding for anyone who is interested. Enjoy!

A few of my besties before the ceremony. They were so helpful all week! I owe them big time.

The newly renovated sanctuary at Grand Avenue Baptist Church

My cousin Dirk escorting my beautiful Mee Maw. You can barely see Paw Paw in the back, but he's there looking dapper in a new suit.

My cousin James escorting my wonderfully lovely Nanaw. They both look so great!

My Uncle Brad escorting my beautiful Mom down the aisle

Ayan and Drew were our Ring (Sign) Bearers-- They did a great job!

Sweet little Lyla was our Flower Girl

My Groom, anxiously awaiting my arrival

Here I come...

Awwww....

The wedding party on the trolley ride to the reception. Aren't they all so beautiful?!?

Sweet trolley kiss

The Reception

The Cake! I wish I could have eaten a whole layer!

Escort Cards attached to bottles of pink lemonade!

Our dinner seats

Daytime view of the reception

Starting to come together!

Outdoor seating

Pretty Reception

Groom's Cake and Petit Fours...mmmm

The Harp!

View of the Dance Floor

Pretty Flowers

We had the BEST time at our wedding and are so grateful to each and every person who came to support us!

Heck Yes!

2011-07-21T14:46:00.007-06:00

Here are a few things that have made me pretty darn happy today:

Taco Treats
It is no secret to any of you who know me in real life that I enjoy the ~~frequent~~ occasional trip to the fast food establishment known as Taco Bell. Judge me if you will, but I do enjoy a chalupa every now and then. Lunch today just happened to be 'now' and also 'then.'

Imagine my extreme pleasure when I pulled up to the drive-thru window and discovered that my all-time favorite mexican-ish-fast-food treat has made it back on the menu for a limited time. The Cheesy Gordita Crunch is back, folks. And it's as good as it sounds.

Thunderstorms
Because we've had a couple of these recently, it is 78 degrees outside right now. Since many of you are in Arkansas and the greater south, I apologize for bragging about this and fully expect to have an all-out blog mutiny on my hands. Still, I'll be nice and cool while Internet fighting you.

The Wedding
In exactly 65 days, I'll be leaving for my honeymoon. This means that in exactly 64 days I'll be Mrs. Rego. Oh, snap. This also means that in exactly 44 days, the Arkansas Razorbacks will take the field for the 2012 season. I'll not say which of these things excites me most.

Is it weird that the order of things that make me happy, at least in this blog post, went tacos, weather and then my wedding? Or is it right on par with what you've come to expect from me? I thought so.

This E-Mail I Got Today
I'm also very excited because I got an e-mail today notifying me that a very rich Nairobian prince wants to give me a LOT of money. I just have to send him all my account information and social security number. I can't wait to get that monaaaay!

In Which My Skincare and Literary Life Are Revolutionized Henceforth

2011-07-12T09:32:00.004-06:00

I turned 30 yesterday. Thirty. Three-oh.

I know it's the new twenty and all but for heaven's sake it feels really, really ridiculously old. When I was somewhere around twenty-two I would wax poetic about how I just did not understand why people made such a big deal about their age. I was chock full of quippy remarks about how ageing is something you have to accept and how silly it is to look backwards, rather than forward to your wonderful future.

I literally hate my twenty-two year-old self. She stinks and she should not have been allowed to speak to other people.

My thirty year-old self now understands how the decades begin to slip away and before you know it, you're requesting sensible birthday gifts that will help rejuvenate your slack facial skin. So I asked Jarred to get me a Clarisonic for the thirtieth so that I can remember what it felt like to have smooth, even skin.

I've used that Clarisonic twice and I already feel 29 again.

Jarred's family got me a Kindle for my birthday. Let me tell you, those things are amazing! I have already downloaded several books and I'm just thrilled to have them at my fingertips at all times. Additionally, the Kindle affords me the opportunity to read while also sipping some nice hot tea or eating a scone. The Kindle has also apparently made me British.

British or not, I had a great birthday and celebrated with amazing friends and family over the course of the last week. Thanks for making me feel special and loved!

Howdy, Y'all!

2011-06-22T09:47:00.005-06:00

So yesterday we received an e-mail that the county is encouraging employees to wear western apparel several days over the next few weeks in, and I quote, "recognition of the Pikes Peak or Bust Rodeo and the El Paso County Fair that are a traditional part of our western heritage."

I have no western heritage but you'd better believe that "western apparel" translates to "Banana Republic jeans" in my tiny brain and thus, I am wearing my favorite pair of denim britches today. I am also wearing cowboy boots because I wanted to make sure no one questioned my definition of "western."

As it turns out, I appear to be the only person in a building of about 600 people who decided to participate in western apparel day. All I can say is I'm just as confused as Paula Cole about where all the cowboys have gone.

Thank the good Lord I opted not to go full cowgirl and wear my rodeo shirt.

It's red with little blue horses runnin' around willy-nilly on it. And it has pearl snaps. My only explanation for this is that I went through a rodeo phase about five years ago and wanted nothing more than an authentic rodeo shirt. I also bought a pair of children's boots because they were considerably cheaper than adult boots and I have unreasonably small feet. The downside of this is that children's boots are just as short as you would expect them to be in order to hit a seven year-old boy at mid-calf. Translation: they barely cover my ankles. Translation: I cannot wear them with skirts.

Yes, you should laugh at me. I certainly do. In the timeless words of Garth Brooks, "I'm shameless."

Luckily my generous Nanaw supported my quest for western greatness and bought me a really nice pair of Justin boots several years ago, so I don't get laughed at anymore. For my boots, that is. Or maybe people do laugh at me just for wearing boots. I can't be sure. Well, I could be sure if I heard someone say "Look! That girl's wearing boots! Hahahahaha." Not really the point, though.

There's a lesson for all of us here somewhere and it has to do with being yourself, not worrying about what people think of you, fighting the good fight, being all that you can be, wearing jeans ANYTIME it's possible and buying age-appropriate clothing in order not to be ridiculed. At least that's my take-away. You?

Weekend Recap

2011-06-14T09:58:00.005-06:00

It's Tuesday. Is Tuesday too far removed from the weekend to write a recap? Well, there's nothing else going on, so I'm doing it.

I was in a wedding this weekend. It was my work friend Holly's wedding. It was held at a lovely restaurant with a grand view of the city. I had my hair done with the girls before the wedding. I thought it would be a chance to get an idea for how I'd like to wear my hair at my very own wedding. I was mistaken. My stylist, while sweet and fun to talk to, apparently had little knowledge of the "side bun" or a "swoop" or "loose waves." The end result was a slightly off-center mop that would rival any poodle on the block. Although I don't think poodles style their curls with three-hundred and fifty-seven bobby pins. Maybe I wrong.

Not the best $70 I've ever spent.

I also got a spray tan for this particular wedding because bright sunlight and alabaster skin do not mix. This was not the kind of spray tan you get in a booth, though. Oh, no. This was the kind where you stand in a seedy back room of a salon in front of some stick-thin teenager who grimaces every time she gives you some direction like "move your giant arm to the right, please" or "I'm gonna need you to widen your feet to where your thighs aren't touching, please." Well, sister, there's not enough room on this weird platform for that.

At least that's what I've heard some people experience with these spray tans. I'm glad I purchased a four-pack from this particular salon.

Jarred and I also went to see Super 8 this weekend, which I really liked. The real news here, though, is that we remembered to bring our refillable plastic tub for popcorn. I was scoffed at when I bought it and ridiculed with comments like "You'll never remember to bring that back!" and "Stupid Micah, you've just wasted ten dollars!" I have some really mean friends. But, ha! Jarred set it by the door and we took it for our $3 refill. If my math is correct, we have saved exactly $3 on popcorn this summer. At this rate, I expect these savings to rise to no less than $18 by then end of the summer.

We then took those $3 savings and spent them at the Manitou arcade on Sunday afternoon. Well worth it being that we got a load of tickets that we'll be able to cash in for something like a bouncy ball here in just a few more weeks.

Yep, we'll have saved one bouncy ball worth of movie popcorn spending. Who's silly now, my friends? Who's silly now?

Does June Also Come In Like a Lion?

2011-06-07T16:26:00.004-06:00

Because I'd like it to go out like a lamb.

Reasons why June is akin to a roaring lion right now:

1) Prior to June, Colorado was cold, dreary and spring was about a month late. June roared in and now it's 97 out and my office building has decided that they won't fix the broken AC until the 17th. Nice.

2) I had to move. Jarred had to move. Jarred has only one arm that's of any use to me right now. So, I had to move both myself and Jarred. Shout-out to J-Lo's family for helping us schlep all of our stuff to the new place and to my good buddy Alecia for helping me pack and clean. Booooos to the U-Haul truck with no shocks and a braking system I'm pretty sure wouldn't pass a safety inspection in Guatemala. I only hit one curb.

3) All my stuff is at one house but I'm living with the aforementioned Alecia for the summer and basically only moved some clothing to her home. I'm a house divided against itself, which can only end in tears.

4) Haven't had time to unpack the new house due to the fact that the current owners' stuff is still in it. It'll be gone next week. But not before my sanity will be. (We're doing a house-sharing type situation with Jarred's coworker who recently relocated to D.C.).

5) I had to finalize our invitation list for the calligrapher this week. My goodness I can transpose a lot of numbers on a zip code. Do you know how tedious it is to check 250 zip codes?

6) I'm in a wedding this weekend and hosted the Bachelorette party last weekend amidst all of the moving. It's always fun to pick up a two-tier cake in 97 degree weather with nowhere to put it. I transferred that puppy between several fridges. On the positive side: It did not end up on the floor.

So, June. Please calm it on down because I'm told that when a person feels stress, they produce cortisol. Cortisol apparently makes you have a fat stomach. Thanks a lot Cortisol. You're causing me to question whether or not I'll be able to fit in my wedding dress. Not cool. Not cool.

Icky Doo

2011-05-04T14:00:00.002-06:00

I write to you today out of a place of deep disgust because I smell very strongly of onions. A smell so pungent that I'm actually unable to focus on my work. Lest you think I exaggerate, I recently got on the elevator and the woman coming off said "whoosh." Now, I can't be sure that she was directly commenting on my onion bouquet, but I'm going to assume she was.

Some background. I recently got back on the Fit Train. I fell off the wagon (too many transportation themed metaphors?) after my triathlon LAST AUGUST and attempts to hitch a ride back on the train have been sporadic. At best.

Now, with my handy Lose It! iPod app, I have been logging my calories dutifully. It's just that today I had a strong craving for something heartier than celery and hummus. Additionally, I tire of sitting at my desk, eating my lunch, and trying to keep my basal temperature above that of a corpse. Translation: it's cold as a flippin' morgue in my office. I, therefore, searched the web to find that I could enjoy a jr. deluxe burger at Sonic with a side of sunshine at no real expense to my daily caloric intake.

My cursory glance at the calories, rather than the ingredients, brings us to the tragedy. I don't eat onions. I loathe them. I am hypersensitive to them and can smell them in at least a seventy foot radius around my desk. But my poor jr. deluxe burger was chock-full of these rogue bulbs. Now I assure you that I'm a rational person and would normally just remove the offending vegetables from my burger. But have you been to Sonic? They chop them up all tiny-like and there's no good way to salvage your burger. So I ate it. And I dropped a tiny bit of it on my pants.

I have no explanation for the permeating smell that surrounds me. I chewed a stick of gum, washed my hands twice, and lathered my pants with a wet wipe. Yet, there is still a stench so strong and mighty that one might wonder, as they pass my desk, whether I may have bathed in onions this morning.

Let me tell you, it's excellent for one's self-esteem.

Today I Discovered...

2011-04-20T12:13:00.004-06:00

Today I discovered that I've been drinking my water through a moldy straw. It's one of those plastic ones that you can put through the dishwasher. Unfortunately, the dishwasher apparently didn't take care of the black mold in my straw and I feel the need to go use some mouthwash or possibly 100 proof alcohol to try to eradicate the mold that is clearly going to kill me immediately.

Today I discovered that when I can't sleep at 5 am and I'm the only one home and I accidentally leave the blinds open about six inches, my default reaction is to assume that some sprightly creeper has climbed up to my window to peek in at me while I sleep. I kept imagining a face, not unlike Mr. Tumnus of Narnia fame, pressing itself to my glass and watching me while I tried to go back to sleep. I've always had a vivid imagination.

Today I discovered that the drive-thru attendant at Starbucks who consistently asks me if I'm actually "Micah," does not, indeed, think me guilty of identity theft. Rather, he simply wants to call me by my name when he hands me my latte and is skeptical of the fact that a female could be named Micah. I assured him that it's possible. I don't think he'll be asking again.

Today I discovered that my road rage has reached an all-time high. I came to the conclusion this morning, as I was yelling at every solitary car that I passed, that I relieve stress by screaming at people who can't scream back at me. I'm not entirely sure that this is a healthy practice. But wouldn't you rather I bark at strangers who can't hear me? I think so.

Today I discovered that the manicure I got LAST NIGHT is entirely ruined. I guess I'd be more upset if I hadn't accidentally chosen a color that is best described as caution cone orange. I knew as soon as Nancy started painting that first nail that I had made an egregious error but they already put up with such bad nail behavior from me that I couldn't very well ask her to stop and let me pick a color that wouldn't blind small children, now could I?

Today I discovered that when I pop my neck, as I frequently do, I become slightly dizzy for 5-10 seconds after said poppage has occurred. I'm not willing to investigate this any further.

Today I discovered that my closet will not magically expand for the new spring wardrobe I recently purchased. I believe I tore a rotator cuff trying to force a sweater in there.

They say you learn something new every day. I'm thrilled to be able to share my brief moments of enlightenment from April 20, 2011 with you today.

Opinions, I Haz Them

2011-04-19T12:25:00.005-06:00

Hey Party People!! That greeting is especially for Whitney, because I know how much she loves it.

Let's be honest. It's been a rough year for this little blog here. I just feel like I don't have much to say about things. So, I'll try to keep it brief-ish as opposed to ramble-y-ish which, as we all know, is my typical writing style.

I have opinions about many-a-thing, it's just that when I have time to sit down and write them all out, I come up blank. I think they call that "writer's block." You might have heard of it and, as such, could have sussed out my particular blogging problem with little-to-no explanation from me. And yet I gave you a two paragraph account.

Here are some opinions I have in the form of an open letter to those things which I have opinions about:

1) New phone system at work-- While I enjoy your sleek look and caller i.d. feature, I do not enjoy the phantom voicemails that I receive each and every morning of the work week. It is simply not a good use of my time to have to trudge to the empty cubicle next to me, dial my extension, wait three rings, listen to my lousy outgoing message, leave myself a voicemail consisting mostly of throat-clearing because it's ridiculous to leave yourself a voicemail, trudge back to my cubicle, log in, and erase the message so that your phantom voicemail disappears.

Also: Your cord is too short for a left-handed, and therefore left-eared, person. And before you ask, no I can't move you to the left side of my computer. The cord is too short.

2) Starbucks-- If your rude drive-thru attendant is going to ask me to "please have my payment ready when I arrive at the window," then I'm going to have to ask that you "please have my coffee ready when I arrive at the window." Although, in my case, I don't think I should have to ask. Since you're the one providing the service that I'm paying for. Thanks. I liked things much better when my office was in close proximity to a Dutch Brothers and all I had to do was listen to the attendants sing and chirp about how much they appreciated my business and existence. Well, it certainly seemed like they were celebrating my existence, anyway.

3) Fingernails-- It is my wish that you would start growing and stop splitting. I have not chewed you in approximately three weeks, which might be a record for me. I have also been taking vitamins and feel that I am providing a nurturing environment in which you can thrive. So please start thriving. Because it is becoming increasingly embarrassing to try to explain to my nail technicians why I chose to ditch their lovely acrylic nails in lieu of the beautiful disaster I now have going on with my natural nails.

4) Food Network-- Nice move on choosing The Pioneer Woman for her own show. I can't wait for it to start.

5) Jarred-- I have some bad news about the DVR. You're going to need to clear some room for The Pioneer Woman's new cooking show.

6) Say Yes to the Dress, Big Bliss-- Would it have been so difficult to just feature a slightly chunkier bride every now and then, rather than creating a whole separate show about big girls looking for wedding dresses? It seems slightly insensitive. You've apparently been airing this since October, but I just discovered it.

7) Jarred-- I have some bad news about the DVR. There's another wedding dress show we need to add.

8) Rental homes in Colorado Springs-- Is it too much to ask that you provide adequate living space at a reasonable price in an area of town where I can expect to walk safely from my car to my door? Apparently it is, because we're batting .000 on this one.

9) Wedding nightmares-- If you could calm it on down, that would be great. You had particular flare last night when I realized mid-dream that it was September 23, 2011 and yet had apparently stopped the planning process on April 18, 2011. While I did appreciate that my subconscious used my ideal weight for the big day, it did not make up for the momentary panic that interrupted my sleep.

Yeah, nine opinions. Because that's how I roll. Uneven, but composite.

Nacho Typical Post-- Get It?

2011-03-11T09:53:00.004-07:00

Happy Friday, y'all! Any fun weekend plans? We typically see a movie on Friday nights, but there's really nothing coming out this week that we want to see. We might go to Bingo instead. Yeah, we're hip like that.

Lest you think we're dirty gamblers, I can assure you it's for a good cause. All the proceeds go to charity. I have no idea why I find it thrilling to sit and listen to someone call out random numbers over the course of two hours. Oh, wait. Yes I do. It's because they have a snack bar. That sells nachos. Like the good kind you get at a stadium or concert. Jarred says we can make our own nachos at home, but it's just not the same.

Nacho side note: I've always loved nachos, but my love for this cheesy snack was solidified in 8th grade during the last nine weeks of the school year. See, I had drill team (that's a dance team, if you're not aware) during 3rd period. Now, the months of April and May afforded us nothing to dance for. Competitions were over, basketball was over, and I guess the philosophy at Ramsey Jr. High was that it would just be silly to dance for the sake of physical fitness. So instead of making us "dress out" or just sit and study, they provided a bus each Monday, Wednesday, and Friday that took the cheerleaders and Royal Blues to Bowling World. I.kid.you.not. Three days a week between the hours of 10:00am and 10:55am we would load up, take a 15 minute ride to Bowling World, pile out, run to the snack bar to order nachos, bowl for 15 minutes while gorging ourselves on nachos, load back up on the bus, ride the 15 minutes back to school and head on out to 4th period. I had science.

See, you had to order the nachos right when you got there, or there'd be no time to eat them, because heaven knows Mr. King was not allowing any snack foods on his beloved bus.

Until this moment, I had never really taken time to explore how odd this practice was. Many questions arise, now that I think about it. Regardless, those Bowling World nachos were well worth spending my weekly allowance on and put a deep nacho love in my heart forever and ever. Amen.

I'm sorry. You're probably not used to devoting so much of your day to nachos. I wish I could say the same for myself.

Now, where was I? Oh yeah, the weekend. No movie. Bingo. Nachos. I think that about sums it up. Here's a coat I bought last week from ModCloth. It was a steal--on sale for $36.99! It's the nicest, softest coat I've ever owned.

I have to admit, I feel a little conspicuous wearing such a large collar. It's worth it for the ruffles, though. And also my neck stays really warm, so self-consciousness be darned! Unfortunately for this coat, it's 65 degrees outside today and proves to be really warm for the rest of spring, so bye-bye soft, warm, turquoisey friend. I'll see you in October. If I can find you after I move twice. Twice because I'm dumb and, rather than renewing my usual lease that would end in September (when could move directly in with my husband (!)), I chose to end that sucker in May. In my defense, I did not know that Jarred would be proposing mere weeks after I had settled my lease agreement. In Jarred's defense, he didn't know that Grand Avenue Baptist Church would be renovating throughout wedding season and we'd have to have a year-long engagement.

Now that we've all been defended, let's talk about Daylight Savings Time. When do we Spring Forward, if you please? I don't want to miss it. I also don't want to Google it. So if you know please, for the love of Pete, leave a comment.

There. I think that post sufficiently makes most of you question whether or not I'm using mind-altering drugs. And, after all, that was my goal. Mission accomplished. Have a great weekend!

Fat Tuesday, For Reals

2011-03-08T12:06:00.005-07:00

So today is Fat Tuesday and let me tell you, the tidbits I have been planning to share with you reflect this fact with surety.

I stopped at Starbucks this morning and I discovered the most fantastic news. They are selling Cake Pops. CAKE POPS! Possibly my favorite dessert in the world. My friends pictured below also like cake pops. Ashley may not look like she likes them, but I assure you she asked me to feed her a cake pop. And I'm a good friend, so I did.

That's a weird picture. I'm sorry I shared it with you. But, mmmmmm...cake pops. These bite-sized treats are pretty labor intensive to make, so it's nice to know I can pick up one or seven at Starbucks.

In other Fat Tuesday related news, I just heard that Blue Bell ice cream is coming to Colorado!! My Arkansas/Oklahoma/Texas readers probably won't think much of this, but I've been waiting for this day since I moved to Colorado six years ago and promptly discovered that Colorado hates ice cream. At least their grocery stores do. But no more! Cherry Vanilla will be at my fingertips at all times. Things are lookin' up.

I can't think of any more fattening food facts to share with you right now, but I think that's enough to expand my waistline on this Fat Tuesday.

Coupous Galore

2011-03-04T14:15:00.002-07:00

Firstly, I am fully aware that it's not spelled 'coupous.' You know who isn't aware? The Chinese restaurant where Jarred regularly dined during college. The hand-written sign declaring they accept other Chinese restaurants' coupous wasn't enough, so they had a large vinyl sign printed up all official-like.

I'd like to know why the sign printers and tattoo artists of America won't help their fellow human beings out and notify them that the costly sign/tattoo they are purchasing is spelled incorrectly. It's calloused and hard-hearted. And makes for some hearty laughs.

But I didn't come to rant about mean-spirited or possibly uneducated Americans. I came to brag about my excellent use of coupous. If you haven't figured it out already (and bless your heart), I'm talking about coupons.

Yesterday I paid a grand total of $0.86 for 12 double rolls of Charmin toilet paper and 8 rolls of Bounty paper towels. Woo hoo! I saved $17.98 total on these two items! I don't think I've been this excited since Jarred asked me to marry him six months ago. And really, it's a close second.

Now I think the important thing to do is to budget in a way that I actually SAVE that money, rather than just spending it elsewhere. Because there's really no point to saving the $17.98 if I'm just going to go buy some kind of floopie-doo (I swear to you, that's what Jarred called girly things the other day and, oh, how it makes me happy) that I don't need. Reducing my grocery/household items bill by hundreds (I'm an optimist) of dollars each month is great in and of itself, but I really want to put us in a better financial position when we're married because of my efforts at couponing. So I'm trying to determine just how to take those savings and actually put that money in savings.

Are you a coupon user? Any tips to help a girl out?

In Which I Ramble

2011-03-03T15:01:00.005-07:00

We have had more than our fair share of sunshine here this week and it has made me positively ecstatic. I don't mind snow and cold weather until it gets warm like this for several days in a row and I realize how much I've missed vitamin D. These last three days have put me in a blissful place. With the wedding growing closer (almost halfway through our engagement!), my office moving buildings in the next three weeks, uncertainty about where we'll live after the wedding (in Colorado Springs), and the stresses of everyday life, I've needed some peace.

But, alas, we have snow in the forecast tomorrow.

Let's move on. A few things have been making me really happy lately and I feel the need to share.

1) Unknown- Jarred and I saw this on opening night and it did not disappoint me. Liam Neeson is just cool.

2) Friday Night Lights- We're watching this series from beginning to end on Instant Netflix (the things they can do with the Googlewebs these days). My friend Denise has been hounding me to watch, much like she did with Lost. And since it's about football instead of alternate realities, I decided to give it a whirl. Verdict? Amazing. Seriously, watch it.

3) Couponing- I have become an extreme couponer. It gives me great pleasure to save money or get things for free. I even have a binder now. With Walgreens' Register Rewards program, I am building up a serious collection of free deodorant/shampoo/body wash/razors. I'm not even kidding you, I won't have to buy any shampoo for the first two years that Jarred and I are married. If that's wrong, I don't want to be right.

4) Our Federal Government- This may seem odd because most people only complain about these guys. Jarred is on their payroll--our payroll?--now, though, and they feel like paying his student loans for him. We found out today that his student loans are being paid at twice the rate he was paying them. I've been humming "My Country 'Tis of Thee" all day. And praying that his Congressman employer gets reelected in 2012 and 2014 and 2016...I think you see my point.

5) Wedding shoes- I bought some shoes from Dillards.com the other day at a deep discount price. I'm not really sure what type of shoes I want to wear yet, but these were precious and relatively inexpensive. I immediately put them on and just walked around my room in them. They made me swoon just thinking about the possibility that those are the shoes I'll wear when I walk toward Jarred to spend the rest of my life with him. Heaven help me when my dress comes in.

6) Girl Scout Cookies- Have y'all bought any yet? I think I'm on my third box. Those Trefoils are always such a sweet surprise. I forget how much I love them amidst all the hype about Thin Mints and Samoas, but those little-engine-that-could Trefoils always call out to me and I end up buying a box for good measure. Then it never fails that I feel a serious sense of loss at the bottom of the Trefoil box.

7) Chili Frito Pie- We had this for dinner last night along with baked potatoes. It was the simplest meal I've made in a while, but it hit the spot. I'll have to remember this in my menu rotations.

8) The Oscars- Not the actual programming, no. Because, snoooooore. But Jarred took the time to write out all of the categories and nominees. Then we made our picks, all official-like. It was just fun to compete against him. He won, of course. Just like he does at Jeopardy, Scrabble, Yahtzee!, Blokus, and chess. But I have the market cornered on blowing bubbles and Wheel of Fortune, so that's something.

I think my brain is out of things that are popping into it randomly. Seacrest out.

Valentine's Day: A Recap

2011-02-15T10:04:00.004-07:00

Here's the story. I'm terrible at remembering to take pictures, which is why this post will have no pictures. Because I didn't take any. Even though my camera stays in my purse. And my purse stays by my side at all times. Also, there's a camera on my phone. Said phone is usually in my hand. But no pictures.

I woke up today with some deep self-loathing over my pictureless existence. What will Jarred and I show our children when we tell the story of our first Valentine's Day together? It will simply be an oral history that we pass down to our children. We're so like fifteenth century Native Americans in that way.

Joking aside, if you can call my senseless ramblings that, Jarred and I had a wonderful Valentine's Day. I surprised him last week with tickets to the Nuggets/Mavericks game on Thursday. The Nuggets won by one point on a buzzer beater, so it was very exciting. We were practically courtside, thanks to a little promotion that the Pepsi Center likes to call "Guys Night Out." Personally, I like to call it "I would never be able to afford these amazing tickets without this promotion, so I really hope you don't actually have to have a Y chromosome to sit in this section." Turns out they didn't give a hoot that I have two X's so we were able to get up close and personal with Dirk Nowitzki, which was my Valentine's Day gift to moi.

Jarred and I had lunch yesterday at Q'Doba because their entrees were buy one get one free if you kissed someone at the register. You'd better believe I jumped on that deal since I actually had someone to kiss and also because there's still room for frugality, even on Valentine's Day.

Last night Jarred took me to one of my favorite restaurants in Colorado Springs. Sonterra Grill. Because their enchiladas make angels sing and their chocolate cake is larger than my head. He knows me so well. He also surprised me with chocolates and the fourth book in a series I've been reading. He was so thoughtful and sweet. Thus, for the first time in something close to a decade, I had a wonderfully romantic and fun Valentine's Day. Here's to many, many more to come!

Uninvited

2011-01-21T13:14:00.005-07:00

Warning: Mee Maw, you probably shouldn't read any further. What follows will doubtless give you the heebie-jeebies.

Jarred is in Washington, D.C. this week to train for his new job. Oh, I didn't tell you about his new job? Well, he works for a congressman now. Fortunately, he gets to work from the district office in Colorado Springs. Except for this week, of course, when he's training in D.C.

Because he's out-of-state, we have been talking on the phone quite a bit. Such was the case when I got home from work last night and began to prepare my dinner. Read: Place some fish sticks and sweet potato fries in the toaster oven. About the time I had pulled the sweet potato fries out of the freezer and started putting them on the baking tray, something awful happened. Out of my periphery I saw a flash of black. And then I felt something traipse over my foot. And just like that, it was gone.

At this juncture, I calmly explained to my fiance that something foreign had invaded my personal bubble and would he be so kind as to halt his story for just a moment.

NOT.

In reality I went into a fit of hysteria and proceeded with an all-out meltdown. Jarred's eardrums, I'm sure, will never be the same. To his credit, he very politely asked me to calm down and stand on a chair. Because that's what one does when unknown and possibly rabid vermin are discovered in one's present environment. In fact, I was already perched on a sturdy wooden chair of the kitchen variety.

It is at this point during the stages of grief, that one considers denial an effective coping mechanism. Thus, I began to rationalize that perhaps there had been some trick of the light or some other such oddity that caused me to imagine that a living organism had actually run pell-mell across my kitchen floor and had taken up residence behind my refrigerator. However, in the moments that followed when I watched the little bugger escape from the other side of the fridge, run down a small wall and hasten behind the couch, there could be little doubt that my home had been invaded.

Consequently, I feel the need to assure you that my roommates and I are very hygienic people who have the unfortunate plight of living in a very poorly sealed and far worse insulated home. It might also interest you to know that we have experienced temperatures far, far below freezing recently. I am, thereby, forced to conclude that there is a singular mouse in my home who was seeking respite from the bitterly cold Colorado night and through a combination of factors, none of which are related to cleanliness of our home, was able to squirm his way into our borders uninvited.

Once I was able to get some perspective on the matter, I grabbed my purse, scootched my chair ever so carefully over to the stairway, vacated it with a leap that Carl Lewis would've been proud of, and scampered out the door to the garage. I then drove to the store and commenced with the purchase of every mouse trap they carried. Twelve in all. Twelve. After arriving back home, I seriously considered that a night spent in the garage might be character-building and not so bad.

Instead of enduring a night that would have surely resulted in hypothermia, I decided to take back what is rightfully mine. I may have said "This is my house. I have to defend it." (Seven-thousand bonus points to the reader who can name that movie). I carefully placed peanut butter in each reservoir of each trap. Then I placed them in calculated spots throughout the home.

After making my way upstairs, I slammed my door shut, rolled up a towel and placed it under the door, and spent the rest of the night in and out of sleep with nightmares of flesh-eating animals. Restful.

This morning I woke up to each and every trap in the exact same state I left it in last night. And so the saga, along with my nightmares, continues...

Christmas Wish List

2010-12-17T12:01:00.004-07:00

This is not your traditional wish list. Forewarned is forearmed.

1) I wish I had more than two days before I leave for Arkansas to do twelve loads of laundry, pack, and wrap each and every present I've bought.
2) I wish airlines didn't charge seventeen million dollars to fly my Christmas presents to Arkansas.
3) I wish I had gotten to the Automated Postal Center just three minutes earlier and avoided the apparently illiterate person in front of me who needed to mail thirty-three packages. I know it seems harsh, but "apparently illiterate" is the absolute nicest thing I could possibly say about her. And waiting for her was still faster than waiting on a United States Postal Service employee to eventually get around to serving me.
4) I wish I didn't have sixteen reports to write at work this afternoon. Perhaps if I had started writing them yesterday, or even this morning, or even right this very second, life wouldn't be so rough.
5) I wish I hadn't eaten that third piece of pepperoni pizza for dinner last night.
6) I wish the Lowe's Facebook Gift-a-Thon had worked properly this morning allowing me to purchase a Kitchen Aid Mixer for $15.
7) I wish I had not let my temper get the better of me when I fired off all those quippy remarks to the Lowe's Facebook Gift-a-Thon administrator.
8) I wish I could identify just which sleeping position it is that's causing my neck to rebel against me.
9) I wish more people knew the difference between "your and you're," "there, their, and they're," "its and it's," and "to, two, and too." I'd get a lot more done at work if I wasn't editing the Internet.
10) I wish, since Jarred and I are exchanging gifts tomorrow night, that I had bought Jarred a gift.
11) I wish the box of chocolates Jarred received at his work party had come with a guide as to what you could expect when biting into each piece. I had an unfortunate incident with some spicy gelatin-type substance last night that I don't care to repeat ever again. I pride myself on my chocolate guessing abilities, but this was impossible to identify and I suffered greatly for it.

If all of these things had happened, I can personally guarantee there would be Peace on Earth today.

I'm not nearly as cantankerous as this post might lead you to believe. I'm actually very thankful and excited to have the next two weeks off of work. I'm also thankful that I get to spend it with my family. I'm sad that Jarred and I won't spend our first Christmas together, but glad that we get to enjoy our individual family traditions one last time before we're married. I'm thankful for the freedom and opportunity to worship our Savior on the day (or approximation thereof) of His birth. Finally, I'm thankful that the above stated nuisances are really the only things I have to complain about and, of course, I only jokingly complain about these things. I have a great job, my health, my wonderful family and future family, a warm place to live and all the happiness I could ask for.

Praying each of you has a Merry Christmas and a wonderful New Year!

November, I Presume

2010-11-17T09:26:00.004-07:00

Well, it's November and it would seem I haven't posted this month, so I thought I'd better get on that. You'd think I'd have all kinds of things to write about but it turns out I don't. Jarred and I did get our engagement pictures done, which makes me feel like I've accomplished something.

Here are a few that I thought were cute:

My friend, Matthew John, took the pictures. He is very talented and has recently launched his own photography business. You can find him here.

Now to other things:
This morning, whilst in the Starbucks drive-thru line, I may-or-may-not-have "tapped" the vehicle in front of me. This was a complete accident and I blame it on the information technology revolution (i.e. those guys who made it possible to play video games on my phone while waiting in line for my coffee). I might sue.

Regardless of who is or is not to blame for my carelessness, I hit this poor woman's car. I immediately gasped and covered my mouth with my hand, which is the appropriate response for this situation if the last seven times I've been in this situation is any indication. I got out of the car and apologized profusely amidst several angry honks from the coffee-goers behind us. I offered to exchange information, but nice Jeep lady insisted that there was no damage and she was fine.

I got back into my car completely humiliated and mortified (a.k.a. humilified) and swore never to pick up my phone in the car again. Ever.

I made my way through the endless drive-thru line and when it was finally my turn to exchange currency for the crack-cocaine that they call coffee, the perky window representative stated that my coffee had been paid for by the woman in the severely damaged Jeep. My jaw dropped as I mumbled "but I hit her car," which confused Perky McSmiley considerably. Still, she just stated "Well, I guess she just wanted to bless you this morning."

How humbling.

Immediately I thought "I don't deserve her kindness. I made the mistake. I should be paying for her coffee. And now I have no way to repay her."

And then my eyes filled with tears as I thought of what a small but perfect illustration of God's grace this was. This woman showed me undeserved favor, just as God does through his loving-kindness and forgiveness. She not only forgave me for a mistake that was wholly my fault, but she lavished a blessing upon me, just as God does through his blessings and mercy. I am thankful this morning for the reminder that nothing can separate us from the love of God.

I'm also thankful that today was the day I added a slice of gingerbread to my order.

One Woman's Trash

2010-10-04T10:24:00.003-06:00

Apparently my trash is really no one's treasure, judging by the success of my garage sale this past weekend. Mercy. I could not sell my old televisions for the life of me. BUT. But. I did sell the Urban Rebounder. For ten dollars. Meaning that I sold it for approximately 1/15 its original value. Regardless, I couldn't be happier to have that thing out of my living space. As I told Jarred this weekend, the Urban Rebounder is my one great shame in life.

I'll tell you what though, garage-salers are stingy. I couldn't even sell a nice, working Kenmore vacuum cleaner for $5. This lady offered me two, TWO!, dollars for it. Are you serious, lady? No. But I will take $3 for it. Because it's imperative that I enjoy an extra Twix bar whilst thinking about how that vacuum cleaner paid for my sugar fix.

One lady kept sniffing my clothes and then putting them on over her clothes, which I thought was a bit odd, even for garage sale-type behavior. She then proceeded to wear a shirt she bought all around the garage sale while she shopped a bit more. It was a bit chilly, I guess.

Let me just tell you. Life ain't easy for a Type A perfectionist with pack-rat tendencies. I spend the majority of my free time trying to organize lots of unnecessary junk into orderly stacks. I'm trying to reduce the number of orderly piles that I'll have to transport to a new home when I get married next year though, so the garage sale was a partial solution to my problems. I found, to my surprise, that I had no trouble parting with most of the ~~junk~~ treasures that I chose to sell. And the whopping $56.50 of pure profit didn't hurt either. Jarred and I can buy a whole tank of gas now.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'd be happy to sell you any of my possessions for almost nothing because clearing out space in my home has now become the primary focus of my life. The fact that I was willing to sell things that were formerly of primary importance to me for pennies on the dollar proves that 1) I should not buy any more things ever. 2) No matter how much I try to convince myself that it won't, that new shirt/pair of shoes/spoon holder will most likely become a nuisance within a matter of months. And when it does, I'll be willing to part with it for 25 cents because I'm a cash-in-hand junkie and frankly, that Hoarders show has scared the life out of me.

Thank you,
Minimalist Micah

Best Day of My Life

2010-10-01T09:18:00.008-06:00

Jarred and I decided about a month ago that we wanted to go to Fayetteville to see the Razorbacks play Alabama. We knew tickets were probably a long shot, but decided that we would go anyway. Knowing Mike Cauthron (aka my Dad), we'd be able to get tickets in the lowers for 1/2 price. Turns out we weren't too far off base with that assumption.

People thought we were crazy to drive 12 hours one way and try to get six tickets to the biggest game in recent Razorback memory. I have learned, though, that you never doubt Mike Cauthron. He found six tickets. And while my generous family gave me and Jarred the best seats, we all made it into the stadium.

This was very exciting. But it wasn't most exciting thing that happened that day. This was:

Jarred proposed to me that morning in such a sweet, thoughtful way. He had my sister trek across campus to find my name on Senior Walk and write "I've got a question for you" beside my name. So, when I saw it, it read: Micah Michelle Cauthron, I've got a question for you. After I read it, I turned and he was down on his knee. And I, of course, was crying my eyes out. It was wonderful! That part of campus was DESERTED just then, so we had to wait a couple of minutes for a semi-sober 18 year old to walk by and snap a picture of us. He did a pretty good job. Maybe he's a photog major or something.

It was so special to be able to share the news with my immediate family and several friends right then and there. Dad was pretty excited:

So was Nanaw:

And Mom:And Heather:

Kim and Whitney have been waiting for this day with me for what seems like an eternity:

On Sunday, we had a big family dinner to celebrate. Mee Maw and Paw Paw got to join in the fun:
It was such a blessing to be with my family and celebrate with them. I know they were so happy to be able to be part of it, too. Jarred is so thoughtful in that way and I appreciate that he proposed in a way that was so meaningful to me and my family. Kirk and Vicki (oops, forgot to get a pic with them) joined us for Sunday lunch and we all had a great time!

So, Jarred and I would just like to say: YOU'D BETTER COME TO OUR WEDDING!!

I Don't Have a Title

2010-09-16T14:51:00.003-06:00

Labor Day weekend one of Jarred's co-workers got married in Hugo, CO. And guess what everybody? We remembered to take pictures with an actual camera! Consider it a moral victory. Anyway, here we are at the wedding.
And this would be us trying to two-step:I don't think I've updated since I did the triathlon. Well, I finished. And I didn't come in last place. And that's really all I have to say about that a la Forest Gump.

No, actually I have a lot more to say about it. Adrenaline was my very best friend during the race. Mostly because I forgot to eat any energy gel during my swim-to-bike transition. A fact I became acutely aware of about three minutes into the bike ride. So I said to my adrenal gland, "It looks like it's just you and me, but it better be mostly you." And I'll be darned if that adrenal gland didn't just step up and do its part. I wish only that I had given the same pep talk to my legs. They didn't quite do their part during the "run." But, I finished in under two hours and now that we're a month removed from the race I can overwrite what my brain actually thinks about triathlons and say "It was FUN!"

Note to anyone planning to participate in a triathlon in the future: If the urge to use the bathroom hits you at the beginning of the run, go ahead and take the opportunity to use the bathroom available to you in the transition area, rather than thinking "I'll sweat it out." You will not sweat it out. And it will cause major issues the last half-mile of your race. Or maybe that's just me.

I think that's all I have to update you on just now.

Super Saver

2010-09-09T10:47:00.003-06:00

I'm such a dork. I have millions of things to update on and this is what I log on to tell you. What can I say? I'm a sucker for good deals.

You're probably asking yourself what on earth I'm talking about right now. Here's the deal: I've recently become OBSESSED with finding online deals and using coupons/Groupons/anything I can get my hands on that is related to a discount.

If your city has Groupon and you're not signed up, leave this site right now and go to www.groupon.com and get thee some awesome deals. I literally wake up every day and check my phone first thing to see what the deal of the day is. It's not always something fabulous, but a lot of times it's a deal you just can't beat!

I recently discovered www.restaurant.com as well and today I bought $60 worth of gift cards to our favorite restaurants for $6.30!! Now, there are restrictions regarding what you can buy, when you can buy it, and how much your total bill has to be. But come on-- 90% discount on gift cards? I will literally jump through a flaming hoop for that. Through Sept. 13, the website is giving 80% discounts on already great deals. Just enter coupon code TOUCHDOWN at checkout. Disclaimer: Read each restriction carefully and don't come cryin' to me if it doesn't work out the way you had hoped.

Finally, I discovered recently that our local Kroger-owned grocery stores "King Soopers" have an online program where you can download coupons directly to your store card. It's like coupon heaven! I checked it out, and if you have Kroger in your area, they do it too! It's really nice not having to worry about cutting coupons and bringing them into the store. You just scan your card and it automatically takes the coupons off your balance.

I think I'm going to try the Walgreens Register Rewards program next. Does anybody do this one?

Do you have any great money-saving tips? Let me know! I'm a sucker for a bargain!

The Long Haul

2010-07-30T09:49:00.004-06:00

Settle in. This is going to be a long one. I introduced my new BF briefly in the last post, but I don't think I really did him justice. Describing him as my "cute, little boyfriend" was probably not the best choice. He is so cute and adorable, though.

See?

Sorry for the poor picture quality. We had to take it on a phone because when you fail to plan, you plan to fail.

I also probably could have gotten rid of my large quilted hip tumor, er purse. And maybe we could have touched and pretended we like each other. Next photo. I'll get better, I promise.

Enough about my inability to take a decent photo.

Jarred recently accompanied me on a road trip to the land of my birth-- Arkansas. We had to drive because my doctor says the FAA has rules about grounding planes for people whose throats begin hemorrhaging at 35,000 feet due to their recent tonsillectomies. Picky, picky.

I've never met a road trip I didn't like, though, so it was great good fun. Jarred hosts a nightly radio show from 10-11pm so last Thursday night, we embarked on our journey at approximately 11:30pm. We drove all night and made it to Talequah, OK in time to have a lovely visit with Jarred's grandparents. Then we continued on to Fort Smith.

We went home to celebrate a milestone birthday that my Paw Paw had this week. He probably doesn't want me to tell you which one, but it rhymes with schmeighty. And he doesn't look a day over schmsixty. It was such a wonderful time of visiting with family and friends, and celebrating my amazing grandfather. If you haven't met him, you totally should. If you're ever passing through Booneville, I'll hook you up.

Jarred handled meeting the family like a champ. He got to meet all of my immediate family, grandparents, and some extended family. We were also able to have dinner with some of my lifelong friends. It was a fantastic trip.

Last night Ashley, Alecia, and I traveled to Cheyenne, WY for a concert at Cheyenne Frontier Days. We saw Dierks Bentley and Miranda Lambert. It was a serious one-two punch. The tacos and funnel cake I ate before the show were the ultimate one-two punch though, which is probably why my standing room only "seats" became slightly more than I could handle approximately two-thirds of the way through Miranda's set list and I needed to find a seat post-haste.

Unfortunately, they don't call it standing room only for nothing and I had to park myself on the rodeo arena floor, doing my best to avoid a "patty" of any sort. I quickly purchased some fluids to try to compensate for the massive quantities of grease that I inexplicably unleashed on my digestive tract. I'm pleased to report that water was the elixir that allowed me to return to my feet in time to listen to Dierks croon away.

We then drove the three hours home and I'm running on a blink of sleep. And there's your explanation for why this particular post is not the quality literary genius you've become accustomed to reading regularly on this blog. Ha. Hahaha.

The Great Tonsillectomy of 2010

2010-07-20T09:37:00.004-06:00

Where to begin? A lot has happened since I wrote last. I went to Oregon for a beautiful wedding, I'm now sans tonsils, and oh yeah, I snagged a man. That's right, after a brief near-decade of being single, I now have a cute little boyfriend, Jarred. Who will probably be nothing short of thrilled to read that I've described him this way.

Jarred was extremely helpful during my tonsillectomy recovery, so I have to keep him around at least for a little while. I returned to work yesterday after having my tonsils removed almost two weeks ago with some type of radio frequency device. Coblation, they call it. All I know is if you're going to have your tonsils out, Coblation is the way to go. Even though I have no scientific information on the risks and possible side effects. I had hardly any pain and I was able to eat almost anything I wanted. Probably a good explanation for why I'm the only person on the planet who has ever GAINED weight while recovering from a tonsillectomy. I kid you not.

Regardless, I'm back at work now which is clearly why I'm able to write a blog post. I mean, who can keep up with a blog when you have eight days off of work, interrupted only by the weekends?

I started to feel like myself again on Sunday. So last night, fancying a wild night, I decided to catch up on my laundry. I found pants I had completely forgotten about. I've gained an entirely new wardrobe!

This morning I put on a pair of those freshly laundered and nearly forgotten pants, matched it with a beautiful blue summer sweater, poured myself a glass of Green Machine Naked Juice, and promptly spilled it all down my front while trying to get in the car.

Evidently the force of me plopping down into the Jeep is enough to alter the pull of the tides. I literally felt a gravitational shift. I have no idea why I would be so careless while holding an open cup of dark green algae stuff. Suffice to say, my lovely outfit had to be re-laundered immediately and I was a tad bit late for work, which they always appreciate after you've been on an extended leave of absence.

In other news, my car battery decided on Sunday that it couldn't wait until I get back from Arkansas next week to pass into the after life, so I had to purchase a shiny new car battery yesterday. Oh, unexpected expenses like surgery and car repairs, you are a treat.

I think the point of this post can be summed up with twenty-eight words: I needed to catch you up, not only on the big occurences in my life over the last month, but also on the minutia. So there you go.

Don't Cry For Me, Argentina

2010-06-10T09:44:00.002-06:00

It looks like this tonsillectomy needs to happen sooner rather than never, like I was hoping. I woke up today and my tonsils are the size of the planet formerly known as Pluto. If you wanna get technical, it's still known as Pluto; it's just not a planet anymore. But enough about astronomy. I was hoping to at least wait until after my race in August to have them hacked out, but it seems that might be impossible. At this point, I may go straight home and attempt to cut them out myself.

I'll spare you any further details about my otolaryngology for now. Instead, I'm going to switch to a melodramatic plea for sympathy about the fact that I had my first bicycle wreck as an adult last night. Other than some mild to moderate contusions, I'm happy to report that I survived and emerged relatively unscathed. It's a good thing I invested in that helmet. My steering skills are evidently so atrocious that I almost steered right off of a bridge into a small ravine. Luckily, I was gifted with exceptional survival instincts and thus, I was able to navigate the near-fatal crash with poise and confidence.

I was also gifted with a small proclivity for exaggeration and maybe some histrionics. Hey, it makes my stories wildly entertaining, if only slightly true.

I've Got a Fever and the Only Prescription is a...Triathlon?

2010-06-08T09:32:00.002-06:00

Hey party people. Where have you been all my life? I feel so far away from you guys. Listen, I would've written sooner about all of the exciting things in my life, but I've been dealing with tonsils the size of the Dallas metroplex due to a little malady called Streptococcus. A couple of really strong shots in my I-think-you-know-where, a 10-day round of antibiotics, and a ~~little bit~~ gallon of Vicodin later, I'm all fixed up. Except for the fact that I now, at the age of 28, get the privilege of scheduling my next surgical procedure in the form of a tonsillectomy. On the upside, I can check on all of my friends over at Memorial Hospital. Wouldn't want to go too long without seeing those guys.

Once I finished that, the people who employ me wanted me to "get back to work" and "catch up on all my responsibilities." Sheesh. Slave-drivers.

Oh, and I also started training for a little thing I like to call My First (and Most Likely Last) Triathlon. Henceforth referred to as MFMLLT. If you have known me for any length of time, or probably almost no length of time, you know that I'm not so great at things that require endurance, discipline, getting out of bed before 6am, increasing my heart rate, coordination, a positive attitude, breathing at 6000+ feet and what-have-you. It has become apparent to me that successfully completing a triathlon will require most of these things. Especially the what-have-you. That's a key component.

Additionally, triathlons are expensive. In the last month, I have had to purchase the following:
*Bike- because, for some reason, they don't provide those
*Helmet- see previous allusion to the fact that coordination is not my strong suit
*Swimsuit- because my friends stated that no, I couldn't wear my polka dotted one-piece from the GAP
*Therapy- to try to identify what possessed me to sign up for this
*Goggles- because I like to be able to see how incredibly far I still am from hitting the wall
*Swim caps- it's a "look" and I was choking on my hair
*Visine- to help with dryness from All The Crying

Not to mention the fact that they make you PAY REAL MONEY to partcipate in the race. Honestly, what kind of sane person pays to be tortured for two (let's be honest, three or more) hours?

At least I'm starting to look the part. As soon as that starting gun(?), whistle(?), horn(?) goes off though, I will quickly be deemed a novice. I don't think I'll have the time or energy to care though. I'm just hoping I cross the finish line before they close the course.

So that's what's on the agenda for me. I may be exceedingly absent from the blog in the coming months because I can't waste any energy on things like thinking. In fact, my waking moments will forthwith be spent in a hyperbaric chamber. Godspeed.

A New Life Plan

2010-05-03T12:16:00.008-06:00

I needed to get out of town this weekend and see the world. This was a decision I made on Friday afternoon at approximately 4PM Mountain Standard Time. When you're trying to plan a weekend getaway, I might suggest that you give yourself a little more than three hours notice. The three-hour-notice-plan severely limits your options when your budget is six dollars and you've got The Rockies on one side and Kansas on the other. Each of these things happens to be true for moi.

Which is the only explanation I have for why I ended up in Santa Fe for the weekend. Enough about the hows and whys of it all, though. I want to tell you about the new life plan I came up with whilst in Santa Fe. I'm going to travel the globe in search of the World's Best Crepe.

My track record over the last several weekends has proven that I am drawn to locales with amazing creperies. Look at that beauty! I almost cried when the waitress brought it out. It was wonderful.

I think I've finally found my calling in life.

Anyway, enough about food. Santa Fe was a really cool city. It was my first visit and I was pleasantly surprised. Lots of culture, shopping, neat restaurants, and of course the crepes. The highlight, though, was that there happened to be a carnival less than one stone's throw away from our hotel. And if anybody loves a carnival/fair/amusement park, it's this girl.

Recently, I had become discouraged with the quality of the fairs, etc. that I've attended in the last several years. Let me tell you why. There is not a person on the planet that enjoys this ride

more than I do. I will laugh until I cry each and every time I ride Pharaoh's Fury/The Sea Dragon. However, this ride appears to no longer be a must-have on the shortlist of carnival rides. I haven't been able to ride it the last TWO YEARS of summer festivals because NO ONE has it anymore. But Santa Fe delivered. In a big way. The Carnie who was operating the ride got the biggest kick out of watching me act like a four-year-old every time the boat crested. Ah, memories. I think we can go ahead and count The Santa Fe Getaway of 2010 as a success.

And since I've neglected to update you on my life recently, we'll just do it all in one fell swoop. I started another SIP (Self-Improvement Plan) a while ago and I'm seeing the results of making an actual lifestyle change. I didn't want to talk about it on here until I had something substantial to report because I think we're all tired of hearing about my failed SIPs. But I climbed the Incline last weekend and cut about 30 minutes off of my time. It's amazing what you can do when you stop carrying 20lbs. of 'fluff' around. Imagine how quickly I'll get to the top when I'm down 40lbs. of 'fluff'.

And I got to see Dierks Bentley in concert again last weekend. He's so great and he has an all-acoustic, bluegrass album coming out in about a month, so he did an all-acoustic show. It was different for him but totally worked. The picture is so crummy because they didn't allow cameras in so I had to snap this on my phone. You can just make out his lovely locks.

Today, as you are probably aware, is Monday. Here's how mine started out: 1) Trip to the dentist at 7am for the first time in WAAAAAYYY too long. 2) Forgot breakfast because of the dental excursion. 3) Tried to purchase a granola bar from the vending machine at work. 4) Granola bar stuck in vending machine. 5) Vigorous shaking of vending machine. 6) Crushing of Micah by vending machine.

Number six didn't actually happen because I didn't want to be one of the eight some-odd Americans who are killed each year by teetering vending machines. So I gave up and ate a doughnut from the all staff meeting I missed/forgot about because of my dental obligations. Doughnut-1 SIP-0.

This and a Little of That

2010-04-13T12:26:00.006-06:00

The highly anticipated birthday celebration in Breckenridge finally took place this weekend. It was a weekend centered around celebrating our good friend Alecia's birthday and also eating crepes. Truth be told, it was mostly centered around the crepes.

See, there's this little cart in Breckenridge that boasts world-famous crepes. Renowned even. And every time we pass through Breck for a little skiing, we remark about how we'd like to get a crepe. But there's also usually a line twelve miles long and I personally am not willing to stand in the elements for several hours after skiing all day in the elements. Even for a little piece of heaven. To be honest, I'm usually unable to make my legs stay under the command of my brain after a day of skiing. This trip, however, afforded the perfect opportunity to eat some crepes. And given the proximity of our condo to the crepe stand, I'm reasonably certain that the entire trip may have been planned with only the crepes in mind.

I chose a crepe of the sweet variety because in my humble opinion a savory crepe is just a waste of a good excuse to eat dessert as an entire meal. If you are ever in Breckenridge and find yourself at the little yellow crepe stand, I cannot recommend the Strawberry Romanoff variety highly enough. It was pure delight.

Ashley here enjoyed her raspberry and brie crepe.

Denise and Jenn are happy and full of sweet crepe-y goodness.

Lest you think the trip only involved crepes, here we are posing outside of a cute boutique called Magical Scraps. They have the most adorable hand-made products.

I think that's all I have for you now. Thank you for your time and attention.

*Photo credits: Alecia DeLorme

The Haps

2010-03-19T10:28:00.005-06:00

You know what's better than getting an entire week off for Spring Break? Getting a half day on Friday before your Spring Break because of a Big 'Ol Last Day of Winter Snow Storm. I am so excited. My agency decided to close at noon. It's a good thing they did because I'm having a little allergy issue that I like to call Sneezing My Head Off. I have literally sneezed two-hundred and sixty-seven times today. I finally went to Walgreens on the way to a home visit and bought some Benadryl and proceeded to take three times the legal limit. That's why I haven't edited this paragraph and have no plans to edit it in the future. Welcome to the ramblings of a Micah who is all hopped up on Benadryl. I may actually fall asleep at this computer.

Transition into a new subject goes here. Last night I went to a concert featuring Luke Bryan and Jason Aldean. Both were great if you like seriously down-home country boy lyrics. And I think we all know I do. Plus, Jason Aldean finished his show with a cover of "Cowboy" originally recorded by one Mr. Kid Rock. You may find this hard to believe, but I know every single word to all of Kid Rock's early stuff and in college I may or may not have driven one of my roommates mad by playing "Ba With the Ba" on a continuous loop for weeks. I make no apologies for my quirkiness.

I'm supposed to spend the weekend in Breckenridge with four friends to celebrate a friend's upcoming birthday, but this giant snow storm may thwart our plans. We'll have to see. Then on Monday I get to leave for the Fort where I'll be spending my Spring Break. As my friends from The Jersey Shore would say, hit me up if you wanna vibe. I don't even know what that means, but it sounds cool. Or maybe it sounds perverted. I'm actually not sure. I miss half of what they say on Jersey Shore. Probably because of all of the bleeping.

As you can see, the Benadryl has kicked in--the room is spinning and I've become incoherent. If I keep going I'm going to need someone to translate this blog into English. I think I'll quit while I'm just sort of embarrassing myself. Have a WONDERFUL weekend!

2010-03-04T09:36:00.007-07:00

I just realized I didn't write a single word about the Olympics while they were on. I didn't write anything because they pretty much consumed all of my waking hours. My love for the Olympics runs deep and strong. Really, I just love to pretend I'm playing the tympani drum each time the Olympic song comes on and I like counting how many times Bob Costas says "these Olympic Games." Good Times.

Canada did not disappoint. By that I mean that I was not disappointed with how underwhelming their opening and closing ceremonies were. I totally expected them to botch it and well, you saw the flying boy, right? Oh, Canada. My apologies if you hail from the Great White North and are reading this. But deep down in your heart, you know I'm right. Or maybe I'm just bitter about the whole hockey thing.

Since I didn't have any regularly scheduled programs to watch online during non-Olympic hours, I ventured out into the world of online media a bit and discovered a gem. Instant Netflix. You can stream an entire film to your computer. It is my new favorite thing. Being an avid movie-goer, I don't really rent a lot of movies because I see most mainstream movies the day they hit theaters. However, I tend to miss many of the Indie films or less widely distributed pictures. That's why I LOVE Instant Netflix. I can watch all of those films for almost nothing from my cozy bed!

Recently, I watched these pics and I really enjoyed them:

Vanity Fair. I thought Reese Witherspoon was excellent in this movie. I'm sad that I missed it in the theaters. I think they costumes and colors would have been great on the big screen.

Lost in Austen. Now this is a version of Pride and Prejudice that I can stay awake for. Cute picture.

Bottle Shock. An interesting film about California vineyards trying to make a name for themselves in the 70s.

Anyone have suggestions on other films I should Netflix? I would love to hear them.

That’s the Last Time I Listen to Drew Barrymore

2010-03-03T10:09:00.004-07:00

Something you should know about me: I am extremely loyal. If I find a product I like, you can pretty much bet that I will remain faithful to it for years, even if something better enters the marketplace. I’ve also discovered that products I choose to devote my heart and soul to get discontinued with alarming regularity. It’s really a shame, but that’s not the issue here.

I have been using Maybelline Full N’ Soft mascara for the better part of a decade. In fact, many of my friends have also been using this product on my recommendation. However, in recent months, I had become dissatisfied with the overall effect my eyelashes were getting from Full N’ Soft. They were neither full, nor were they soft. Still, I continued to purchase it because, at the risk of being redundant, I.am.loyal. Also, it costs somewhere around five dollars and twelve cents. And by “somewhere around,” I mean “exactly.” It costs exactly five dollars and twelve cents at the local Wal-Marts general store.

One fateful day last month, though, the perfect storm of dissatisfaction and curiosity combined while I was a the Wal-Marts and I did something rash. I purchased Maybelline Lash Stilleto mascara (which in my opinion should be called ‘Stilleto Lash,’ but whatever).

Big.mistake. I think Adam Duritz sang it best when he said “Don’t it always seem to go that you don’t know what you got till it’s gone.” While he’s not specifically singing about beauty product-related indiscretions, I think it applies here. I discovered that the grass is not greener, or the mascara is not, er, blacker, on the other side. Thus, I had to purchase more Full N’ Soft to make up for my error, effectively destroying my limited beauty budget for the month. I have learned my lesson and will continue to be blindly faithful to all my favorites in the future. If you are wise, you will heed my warning and do the same. Complacence will forever be the order of my life.

In conclusion, I’d like to apologize for making you read that nonsensical story about my beauty product imprudence. I know you’re thinking “She hasn’t written anything in three weeks and this is the only story she has to tell?” Sadly friends, yes it is. Until next time.

Some Items of Unimportance

2010-02-10T11:43:00.004-07:00

Firstly, I just learned that unimportance is a word. I mean, I knew things could be unimportant, but unimportance just seems uncorrect.

Anywho, how are you guys? I want you to know that I’ve been thinking of you, even though I’ve been absent recently.

What did everyone think of the Super Bowl? Any favorite commercials? I hosted a party with about 15 friends. It was a lot of fun. Here’s a sample of the fare.

I made Pioneer Woman’s Drip Beef Sandwiches. While I did not eat any because, well ewwww, I did hear that a couple of people enjoyed them and they were a cinch to make, so I’m recommending the recipe to those of you who enjoy things like beef.

On Monday night I made these Sweet Potato Biscuits and I am HIGHLY recommending those to you. They were SO GOOD and very simple. I even packed the leftovers for lunch on Tuesday. I slapped some shaved turkey and pepper jack cheese on those puppies and it made a very satisfying lunch. I added a couple of tablespoons of brown sugar to this recipe.
And because this is apparently now a food blog, I will tell you about something else that has made my lunches very satisfying recently. Jell-O Mousse Temptations. 60 calories and a real treat for the palate.
Something that’s probably not going to be very satisfying to my palate is this: http://www.bloodwatermission.com/fortydays.php. I signed up to participate in a challenge called “40 Days of Water.” Beginning February 17, I’m supposed to drink only tap water for 40 days. I think it will be a lot harder than I originally anticipated. No Skinny Cinnamon Dolce Lattes in the mornings, no ICEEs at the movies, no cocktails at Happy Hour with the girls. It’s sad that such a small sacrifice is going to be such a challenge for me. If you feel so led, you should join me!

Celebration!

2010-02-09T07:50:00.004-07:00

Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday, dear Nanaw! Happy birthday to you! (Imagine I sang that)

Nanaw, you are such a blessing to me and I hope you have a wonderful day! I love you!

P.S. Your gift is in my car, so it may not make it to you today. I just haven't been able to bring myself to go to the post office. You may remember how I was scarred by the post office. I'll try to overcome my fears soon and get it to you.

Tis the Season To Be Lazy

2009-12-11T11:05:00.004-07:00

I am lazy and have not updated ye ole blog in about an eon. To make up for this, I will write you a pretty boring list of facts.

Pretty Boring List of Facts:
1) I am so impossibly tired I cannot manage to string two sentences together to make a blog post.
2) You probably don’t want to read the rest of this blog post. See number one.
3) Today I get to participate in a group picture at work. My supervisor decided it would be cute for everyone to hold their dog in the picture. I don’t have a dog. I “get” to hold a stranger’s dog. His name is Squirt. I hope his name is not self-fulfilling in any way.
4) I have slipped into a deep depression. See number three.
5) Last Wednesday night I got to see Miranda Lambert in concert for the first time. She played a honky-tonk in Denver. She is sassy and has perfect pitch. I left my camera in the car, so I have no proof of her sassiness. Mainly it was -1 degree outside and I was more focused on making it into the building alive than on making sure I had my camera in tow.
6) I just used the word honky-tonk on my blog and alienated 50% of my readers because they can’t relate to the word honky-tonk.
7) I have identified no less than seven spelling/grammar errors in the preceding sentences and have no desire to fix them. I just want you to know that I know.
8) I sustained minimal injuries in the putting up of my Christmas tree this year. This bears noting because last year I managed to fall down the stairs onto a tool kit and sprain not one, but two of the ankles God gave me. Christmas 2009 is a moral victory. Here are some pictures of Christmas 2009. Enjoy.

*Edited to add that I somehow created two separate posts of these words and the pictures that follow, so scroll down to the next post to see the pictures. I am a blog failure.

Christmas 2009

2009-12-03T07:50:00.004-07:00

I know this is an ugly photo, but I included it to illustrate how I've gone Christmas decor crazy and felt the need to purchase a Spode shower curtain. Something is possibly (most definitely) wrong with me.

Merry Christmas!

No Rest for the Weary

2009-11-19T10:18:00.007-07:00

I am a sleepy girl. No surprise there. I'm pretty sure anyone who knows me could recount at least one occasion where I have fallen asleep at an inopportune time and/or place because, let's face it, I like to sleep. However, I also like to do fun things and so, for the past two weeks, I've been neglecting sleep in order to be a social butterfly.

Saturday before last, I went to the live taping of College Game Day at the Air Force Academy. I'm not even going to tell you what time I woke up because even now, it's nausea-inducing.

But it was totally worth it for this "MONEY SHOT" of Kirkers. I've harbored a slight crush on Kirk Herbstreit since approximately my sophomore year of college. Doesn't it kind of look like Kirkers is taking an obvious stand against the Texas Longhorns in this picture? I'd like to think so.

Then, of course, there was Lee "not so fast my friend" Corso.

And Chris Fowler, who graduated from high school right here in Colorado Springs.

And finally, Desmond Howard.

Monday night I lucked out and got last minute tickets to Monday Night Football: Broncos vs. Steelers (thanks, Maria!). Too bad it took us upwards of three hours to get from the Springs to Mile High, which caused us to miss the first quarter and resulted in a Series of Unfortunate Events. Nevertheless, the last three quarters were lots of fun and totally worth it. Here's Benny-boo-boo-boo (Ben Roethlisberger) planning his assault:

Then came Veteran's Day, which was a holiday for me because of my high-paying government job contract. Sarcasm. Anyway, a new Chick-fil-A opened on Nov. 12 in town and because they give a year of free meals to the first 100 customers at the Grand Opening, I decided to forgo sleep yet again to camp out for 24 hours in the parking lot to ensure that I would get more free chicken than can possibly be healthy.

After a frantic phone call from my good friend Phil at dark-thirty, I hastily threw 8 pairs of socks in a bag and flew out the door. I was number 98! It was so much fun because we probably knew 60 of the campers.

First we waited in line...Then we set up camp...

Then we played some games...
Then we nearly froze to death...

Then we got our chicken, complete with free t-shirt. But he wore these pants by choice...

Those are a few of the happenings recently. I will also be sleepless for the next 3-4 nights because of more ridiculous activities, but I will update you on those after they've happened and when I have a little less shame about what I'm doing with my life.

*All photos courtesy of Alecia DeLorme

Some Things and Stuff

2009-11-05T14:34:00.004-07:00

Monday night I had the privilege of hearing The Pioneer Woman speak at The Tattered Cover in Denver. If you don’t know who she is, you should check her out. She’s a fantastic blogger and her website is amazing. I am constantly trying to win a KitchenAid mixer on her blog. My attempts have yet to yield any positive results. Anyway, she wrote a cookbook and I can’t wait to try some of the recipes.

Did I ever report about the Evening of Sophistication (Part Deux)? I don’t think I did. The hostesses threw a delightful party and the guests looked resplendent. Here we are being all sophisticated and what-not.And, at times, a little silly.

The next night I decided that sophistication is overrated and determined to be as unsophisticated as humanly possible. This picture was taken at Steve and Matthew’s birthday party, which was superhero themed. Can you guess what my super power is?

I’m able to repel men worldwide. Yup.

I literally just put that picture on my blog for everyone to see. Please pray for me.

Some other stuff:

Last week I noticed that the signature on my debit card looked kind of funny because it looked like it said “Denise Lastnameprotected” instead of “Micah Lastnameprotected.” Turns out, I had been spending Denise’s money for approximately 24 hours and she had been spending mine. Turns out I spend a bit more money in 24 hours than my friend Denise. So not only do I have to pay her back, I now have a complex about my spending habits.

Well, those are all the random things I have to tell you about right now. I'm sure we'll talk more later. Or I will. And hopefully you'll be willing to listen, er, read.

Arizona, Could You Please Keep Up?

2009-11-03T09:59:00.001-07:00

There is little I enjoy in life more than winning. You might not think it just by looking at me, but I’ve been told on more than sixty occasions that I’m a competitive girl. Whether it’s beating my grandparents at Trivial Pursuit (which I often do), predicting the correct score of a football game, or getting a movie quote before anyone else, I like the winning.

I also like to pretend that I have an excellent memory; that I can pinpoint the exact moment I first heard a popular song or that I remember precisely what I was wearing when I saw a movie for the first time.

Given these qualities about me, it’s not surprising that people don’t really like to be around me.

Kidding. What I meant to say was that it’s not surprising that my one true joy in life is to “compete” daily in a radio contest called “Remember the Time.” At 8am each morning I tune my radio to John Jay & Rich, a morning show based in Arizona, in order to hear a montage of songs, movie quotes, and television snippets and then try to guess what year all of it happened.

To ensure that I’m honest, I text my answer to a friend each day as we listen so that it’s a legitimate--and I use that term very, very loosely--victory. And, well, I don’t like to brag, but I’m really good at it. Like really good. Like Usain Bolt running the 100 meter good.

Now I know you’re on the edge of your seat waiting with bated breath for the point of all this nonsense and you will be rewarded for your patience shortly.

I tuned my radio to 99.9 at 7:56am yesterday and were my friends playing a montage? No. They were discussing some meaningless drivel that had nothing to do with me getting a personal victory for the fourth day in a row.

And do you know why they were doing such things? Because stupid Arizona refuses to participate in Daylight Savings Time with the majority of the country, thus ruining my morning and causing my self-esteem to take a nosedive.

Remember the Time is now broadcast at 7am MST and there’s a better chance that I’ll start running as fast as our friend Usain than there is that I’ll be in my car by 7am each morning.

Just wanted to share my personal Daylight Savings Time heartache with you. De nada.

For Real

2009-11-02T11:03:00.001-07:00

Yesterday in church I became positively overwhelmed with gratitude and emotion for the love, grace, and mercy I’ve been given. So today I’d like to share some thoughts about that with you in a rare but heartfelt moment of sincerity.

I love Jesus. I don’t always say it and I don’t always do the best job of showing it. But I do.

I also have questions and doubts and fears and sometimes I really don’t understand the God that I’m trying to serve. I keep coming back, though, because there is nothing else. In spite of all the struggles I have with my faith, I know without a doubt that truly surrendering my life to Christ is the best way to live.

I know what misplaced trust looks like, as I’m sure we all do. I frequently place my trust in things that have no value. I know what people’s homes and families and situations can become when they turn to the things of this world to ease their pain and heartache. I hurt for them. And I hurt for me. Because I know that I’m not living the abundant life like I could be. I’m not showing them what it’s like to live in victory.

If you’re reading this and you’ve never had any grace extended to you; if you’ve felt judged instead of loved, condemned instead of cared for, I’m sorry. I’m sorry that the unbelievable love that God has for you hasn’t been translated to you through His people; through me.

If you’re reading this and you know how much God loves you, I challenge you to show others that love. My earnest prayer as a follower of Christ is that I will be known for how I love others. It is not enough to say that I care for people or to shed tears over their stories. I want to show others His love in practical, real ways no matter how tired I am or how crummy I think my day has been. It is much easier said than done.

I am praying for you today, whether I know you or not. If there is something specific I can pray for you about or some way I can show you love today, e-mail me or leave it in the comments.

I pray that you would know God’s love for you today in a tangible way and that it would change how you see yourself and others. You are loved with an everlasting, unchanging, all-encompassing love.

Just thought you should know.

Read at Own Risk

2009-10-23T13:36:00.005-06:00

Friday, oh Friday, you are such a blessing to me. This week has seemed positively endless. Perhaps it is because my social calendar has been a little, ah--how do I put this--oh yeah, EMPTY this week. Sometimes weeks void of all human interaction are such a blessing and sometimes they are so disappointing. Unfortunately, I happened to want to be an extrovert this week, but my opportunities were limited.

The low points of my boring week follow in bulleted format:

Whittled my cluttered Inbox down from 844 messages to 15, after reading all 844 messages to determine if they were file-worthy or delete-worthy.
Deep cleaned one of the living room walls that was saturated with sweet tea from a brief moment of indiscretion during Saturday’s game. A moment wherein I pithily calculated the cost of throwing a full cup of sweet tea at the wall after a particularly bad call from the now-suspended team of referees.
Found an unopened bag of Superhero candy sticks (formerly known as candy cigarettes) from last Halloween and determined to finish them off in one sitting.
Went to the Wal-Marts to get more candy sticks, because a home with no candy sticks is no home at all.
Discovered that, based on the following description, I have a whole lot more in common with the “Teacup Piglet,” than I’m altogether proud to admit:
"They will eat nearly endless amounts of food, particularly high-carbohydrate unhealthy food, if allowed, so it is vital to restrict access to the food it craves. They will constantly search for food, and should be kept far away from the kitchen."
Became entirely too excited about the purchase of a new bottle of laundry detergent.
Checked my blog incessantly to ensure that you all, for the most part, do not believe me guilty of taco theft. The results are 13-4 in my favor. So, thank you.

The remedy for this boring week is found in my weekend plans. Yes! I have some. Tonight I’m attending a soiree thrown by my friends Denise, Jaci, and Sarena. This event has been christened “An Evening of Sophistication (part Deux).” It’s a birthday party/swanky to-do where we all dress up and act like we have a modicum of class.

For my impression of someone with class, I have decided to impersonate Dame Judi Dench all evening, complete with British accent. My mantra for the evening shall be “What would the Dame do?” However, if throughout the evening that question ever begets the answer “Not eat candy sticks,” then I will reprise my role as myself and proceed to eat.the.candy.sticks.

Then tomorrow I will abandon all pretenses of classiness (I will effectually “leave classy at home”) and SCREAM, SHOUT, and WILL the Hogs to a victory over Ole Miss. In public. Because, unfortunately, this is the one game all season that I will not be able to access from the comfort of my own couch.

Of course it is.

If You're Not a Hog Fan, You Probably Don't Care

2009-10-19T09:31:00.001-06:00

I would have blogged about the Arkansas/Florida game yesterday, but I needed a day to get over my heartbreak. And truthfully, I’m not quite over it yet. I sit here with tears brimming in my little brown eyes. I cannot believe we came so close and managed not to win that game.

And yet, I knew we would play them close. There’s a feeling in the air, is there not, Hog fans? I’ve been reading and comparing stats and praying since our final game last season. I just knew something like this was around the corner. Even when our defense got thrashed by Georgia a mere four weekends ago, and people wanted to write off our entire season as a dismal failure, I did not lose hope.

I will not blame this loss on the two back-to-back fifteen yard penalties that even Gary Danielson said were baseless and unjustifiable (which is a miracle of heaven in itself), even though I do believe they contributed to the loss. However, I will say that those SEC officials (the EXACT same officials who made the game changing and highly contested “Excessive Celebration” call against UGA a few weekends ago) should be held accountable for their actions. Perhaps they should attend some training on what is/is not pass interference. Or possibly, they should be reintroduced to the rule books on blocking until the whistle blows. I also have some other, more unsavory suggestions, but I will rise above mentioning them here.

The point is that we had a host of opportunities to win this game. We failed to capitalize on four Florida turnovers. We missed two end-zone catches. We missed two field goals. I could go on, but my poor heart can’t take it.

I am optimistic at this point because we should win out our schedule. I am proud of how we played and I know that with just a few small adjustments, we can beat any team on any given Saturday. And that gives me something to look forward to.

Yours truly,
Devastated but hopeful Hog fan

I Think I'll Try Defying Gravity

2009-10-16T10:57:00.002-06:00

People. I know I’m several years late getting this memo, but if you have never seen Wicked, you must leave my blog right this moment, find out when it is coming to a city near you, purchase a ticket, and GO. Donna Vivino is currently playing the role of Elphaba on the nationwide tour and she is, without a doubt, the most talented performer I’ve ever heard. Her voice brought tears to my eyes on at least fourteen separate occasions.

As promised, I downloaded the entire musical and have now committed it to memory in the event that I’ll be tested on the material at a later date. Or, perchance, asked to audition for the role of Elphaba. In which case, I’ll be totally prepared other than the fact that I will not be able to hit a single one of those high notes. A girl can dream, though.

There’s a chance I’ll be trying to win lottery tickets to see it again next week. Also, plans are already in the works for me to fly to Dallas NEXT MAY to see it with one of my best friends on her 30TH birthday! I have rearranged my life around productions of Wicked. Oh, boy.
In other news, I’m possibly a thief and I’d like to know what your opinion is on this. I needed to grab a quick lunch on Tuesday and, therefore, made a drive thru stop at a local taco establishment. And by local I mean that there is one here locally, but also it’s a national taco chain. Whitney, I’m sure you know to what establishment I am referring, as it was one of our many jokes back in college.

Anyhow, I ordered and pulled up to pay with ye ole debit card when I was informed by the cashier that the credit card machine was offline and I would be unable to pay with a credit card. She told me all of this whilst handing me my tacos. To this, I replied that I had no cash and, therefore, no other way to purchase the tacos in question.

I waited while the young woman tried to reboot their system. For approximately 12 minutes. Finally, she informed me that it was still “jacked up” and I should just go ahead and leave, tacos in tow. I offered to return them, but she stated that they would just have to throw them away. And I’m not one to watch less-than-mediocre Mexican food go to waste, plus I had already taken a sip of my drink. So, under advisement from the taco employee, I left.

My question to you is, am I a thief? I will place a poll on my sidebar and would love to hear your thoughts on whether restitution must be made for what I’m calling “The Taco Incident of 2009.” You might be interested to know that the year is, in fact, necessary because my history is chock-full of other taco-related incidents.

It’s the Singing Combined with the Dancing That I Love.

2009-10-09T10:58:00.002-06:00

Widely known fact about me that I feel bears repeating: I.love.musicals.

I love musicals that involve high school children singing about their futures and teamwork in an optimistic way. I love musicals that are based on the strange politics and drama of the feline underworld. I love musicals where leather-clad, greasy men belt out ballads about the Hand Jive.

For this reason, I am SO excited about this weekend, because on Sunday I get to do something truly special. I get to see Wicked for the first time ever in all my born days.

I read the book a couple of years ago (Ick.) and have since heard this phrase or something like it uttered no less than eighty-mcmillion times “Oh, the musical is nothing like the book. It’s so much better.” So I have pretty high expectations.

I’m going in with no knowledge of the songs because I want to experience them “fresh” for the first time. I’m certain that I’ll have the entire musical downloaded mere seconds after we’ve seen the show, but I want to hear the songs live for the first time so that there’s no comparison during the show.

In somewhat related news about musicals, how much do I love Glee? I’ll go ahead and tell you that the answer is a lot. I care very little about the plot line, but I could listen to those spunky, deranged little high schoolers sing pop songs all day long. And to be completely honest, I do. My iPod is pretty much on repeat of Glee songs the majority of the day.

Finally, we’re having a cold snap this week and we had a little bit of snow last night, so I’m going to cozy up and spend my Saturday watching a whole lotta football and maybe I'll have some chili. I finally got my fall decorations up last night, so it’s an autumn wonderland in my house now. Pumpkins galore and whatnot.

What are you planning to do this weekend?

And Then I Bought It…

2009-10-05T11:34:00.003-06:00

There’s not much going on in my life this week to report, so I have been trying to think of funny stories from my past to share with you. And yesterday in church, it came to me. Our pastor somehow got off on a tangent about buying things from infomercials; exercise equipment, to be precise. His tangent conjured up horrifying images of the one and only time I’ve ever purchased anything from an infomercial.

The Urban Rebounder.

Before I tell you what that is, let me set the scene for you. Journey with me to the year 2005, where I am twenty-three years old. I have recently made the move from Arkansas to Colorado and have entered the working world where I make approximately seven cents an hour.

My roommate and I own exactly two things: a lamp that I proudly purchased from Wal-Mart to light our apartment (overhead lighting not included) and a variety of sconces, also purchased from Wal-Mart. We literally come home from work each evening and enjoy some penne pasta topped with either marinara from a jar or alfredo from a jar, depending on how fancy we feel that day. We cannot afford to heat our apartment and our guests often complain that they can’t feel their toes.

Despite this, one fateful morning in May of 2005, I decided it would be a good idea to spend the equivalent of three months of groceries on a MINI TRAMPOLINE. You heard me correctly. The Urban Rebounder is, by all accounts, a not-so-cleverly-named miniature trampoline complete with stabilizing bar (for the uncoordinated), carrying case (for the shameless), and instructional DVDs.

To this day, I have no explanation for what came over me as I sat on our blue plaid couch eating a bowl of wheat puffies watching the infomercial for the UR. All I know is that in that moment, the Urban Rebounder was the answer to all of my problems. So I called the toll-free number and enthusiastically asked the operator to “sign me up.” And as of this moment, it has never been used for its intended purpose. Because no one wants to pull out a two-hundred pound trampoline and unfold it every time they want to work out. No matter how good it is for your knees.

I am pleased to report that I’ve never bought anything from an infomercial since and hope to never buy anything from an infomercial again. But I make no promises that whatever crazy came over me that snowy day in 2005 won’t ever come over me again. That’s all part of the adventure, I guess.

Lately...

2009-09-30T19:38:00.007-06:00

I've been reading this:

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows. It is one of the funniest, most compelling works of fiction I've read in a while. It manages to be light-hearted and very heavy at the same time. I'm trying to draw it out a bit because I know it will be a letdown once I've finished it. I get so attached to characters that I hate to see them go when I finish a book. That's why I've never said good-bye to Harry Potter. I just keep meeting him in all the old familiar places time and time again.

I've been listening to this:

and this:
There is just nothing like Miranda Lambert's sassy, impassioned lyrics to get you through a good jilting. And jilted I am. Carrie's new single Cowboy Casanova has also been like a salve to my bruised heart. Additionally, that stonewashed denim/leather contraption that Carrie is wearing in this picture has managed to lift my spirits on more than one occasion. I mean, I may not be Carrie Underwood, but I cannot think of a single instance, even in the 80's, when I donned something that remotely approached being a fashion mistake the likes of this one. By all accounts, she appears to be wearing a one-piece denim jump suit. There are some sins that cannot be forgiven. One-piece button up demin jump suits are among the unforgivables, to be sure.

I've been eating:

Well, I've pretty much not been eating anything thanks to the Swine Flu Diet (patent pending). I've lost 7 lbs. on said diet and I'm hoping the good times roll on. I'm getting plenty of nutrients in my Halls Cough Drops Plus Vitamins and Minerals though, so everybody just pipe down (mom).

That's pretty much all that's going on with me lately. Other than sleeping 12-15 hours a day. Which is why I'm betting you found this to be one of the most insipid blog posts you've read in quite some time.

I'm just here to give the people what they want. No need to thank me.

Settle In, It's Gonna Be a Long One.

2009-09-28T12:37:00.005-06:00

Oh, boy. It’s been an eventful two weeks in my life. On Friday the 18th I went to see Dierks Bentley and Brad Paisley in concert. This was the much anticipated final installment in the Summer 2009 Concert Series. Summer 2009 was not as stellar as Summer 2008, but would hold its own against any competing concert series from the early 2000s. Mainly because I never went to any concerts until I moved to Colorado due to the fact that I had a paralyzing fear of spending money on anything entertaining and/or gratifying before I moved to Colorado.

Colorado Micah, however, seems to have no problem sinking in debt in the name of frivolity.

So, because I spend money like it’s going out of style, I found myself at the Brad Paisley concert. Lemme just tell you, Brad Paisley was fantastic. I have never bought any of his albums because I get tired of his songs being overplayed on the radio. However, seeing him live made me a lifelong, devoted fan. He is so real and genuine and I love his playful stage presence.

The next morning, after a restful six minutes of sleep, my friend Alecia and I boarded a plane and embarked on a journey to Arkansas for the Hogs’ SEC opener against Georgia. We were able to watch the Hogs get stomped from the 40 yard line about 20 rows up. My dad scored us some fantastic seats. Despite the loss, I was thrilled to see a Bulldog fan wearing these bad boys:
Alecia was able to capture this picture on the fly, but unfortunately could not snap a picture of the even classier black and white gingham version that yet another Bulldog fan was sporting. To sum up, the MAN was wearing GINGHAM SHORTS with TINY LITTLE bulldogs EMBROIDERED into the GINGHAM FABRIC. Wrap your mind around that one.

When it was time for us to return to Colorado on Monday night, we were thwarted by a deluge which decided to park itself directly over Northwest Arkansas Regional Airport right around the time our plane was to land from Denver. The plane never came, so we got to turn right around and drive back to Fort Smith. Except we couldn’t drive back to Fort Smith because of the aforementioned deluge. So we exited I-540 at Chester.

Little known fact for you: The Chester exit happens to be the lowest point between Fayetteville and Fort Smith. Something to keep in mind should you ever decide to exit the interstate during a cloudburst: You will not be able to get back onto the interstate because the entrance and exit ramps will be flooded. Then, if you’re anything like us, you’ll spend the next several hours playing a very entertaining game of “How deep is that river running across the on-ramp?” followed by the ever popular “Now that we’ve determined it’s only six inches deep, can we make it across alive?” Later, you will discover that you are literally 1.1 (that’s one-point-one) miles from the alternate route, a.k.a. Hwy. 71, which will lead you back to the interstate in a matter of seven to ten seconds.

The next morning, after a restful nine minutes of sleep, we flew back to Colorado, where eight out of ten doctors agreed that I had somehow managed to contract the H1N1 virus, commonly referred to as Swine Flu.

The last five days have been a glorious combination of phlegm, dry heaves, and cold sweats.

In conclusion, I am apparently cursed. Thank you for reading. That is all.

Nuts and Bolts, Friends. Nuts and Bolts...

2009-09-15T12:59:00.003-06:00

This is going to be one of those stream of consciousness posts, so if you’re into things like “paragraphs” and “complete sentences” and “personal hygiene”, you should probably just click on by. Mostly, I have no idea what I’m about to say and am, quite frankly, just writing a post because my family assumes I’m dead if I don’t post for a couple of days. Then they start calling and if I don’t answer because of things like “having to work,” it only reinforces their belief that I have somehow managed to die.

I’m making a lot of air quotes in my head today. It’s funny to me. If only me.

I had a rather disappointing weekend. I won’t go into much detail because I don’t really want all of blogland to know what a pathetic loser I am and also I’m not sure who’s reading this blog. For reasons known only to the Holy Trinity, I don’t want to offend the person in whom my disappointment lies, so I will be vague and frustrating and give you very little reason to keep reading.

Several things happened this weekend that could be viewed negatively. However, being the Pollyanna-type gal that I am, I believe that anything can be spun into a positive. Even when it looks depressing, dismal, and miserable and makes you consider locking yourself in the garage with your car running. A car that you washed twice this week. Here are some examples of turning something dark into something delightful:

Negative: I purchased several adorable outfits to wear this weekend but ended up wearing some ratty pajama pants and a t-shirt stained with what looked (and tasted) like hot fudge.
Positive: I can now return those items and pay my rent next month.

Negative: I woke up at the crack of dawn Saturday morning to drive to Denver International Airport to pick up a person who never arrived. And not because he was dead, like I’d ~~hoped~~ feared.
Positive: I burned approximately 397 calories on a walking/crying/sweating tour of Denver International Airport.

Negative: I replaced those 397 calories with cheesecake.
Positive: I replaced those 397 calories with cheesecake.

Negative: I did not get to do any of the fabulous things I had planned on this weekend. And did not get to employ the use of my 283 point flow chart.
Positive: I was able to catch up on my sleep by sleeping for 63 hours straight, which I desperately needed after staying up all night to make a 283 point flow chart.

See how I did that? There are two sides to every coin. Anyway, I’m headed to Arkansas this weekend for the Hogs’ SEC opener against Georgia. So, as long as I make it onto the plane and there’s someone there to pick me up, I’m anticipating a much better weekend.

Well I've Never Been to Heaven...

2009-09-10T10:31:00.002-06:00

…but I’ve been to North Dakota. And those two places are completely unrelated, as far as I can tell.

I’m kidding! The ~~rolling hills~~, ~~rushing rivers~~, expansive flatness was beautiful. Yeah, I love flatness, especially when it involves my abdominal muscles. But enough about my rock hard abs, we’re here to talk about North Dakota.

Four friends and I left lovely Colorado Springs last Saturday morning to travel to Fargo, North Dakota for Steve and Ginna’s wedding. Ginna grew up on a corn/soybean/alfalfa farm about an hour outside of Fargo and wanted to celebrate her wedding in the area where she was born and raised. For those of us from out of town, the farm actually ended up being about two hours outside of Fargo once we made approximately ninety-two seven-point turns in a variety of corn fields near a plethora of silos. Because Magellan is of little help when you need to take a left at the “wrought-iron rooster” or go straight until you see the “coon dog taking a breather in the alfalfa.” What I'm getting at is that they don't have a lot of "streets" or "addresses" in rural North Dakota, don'tcha know?

Consequently, Magellan is also of little help when he gets left in someone’s suitcase back at the hotel. But that’s a whole other story.

Anyway, after what seemed like hours, we found our way to the right cornfield and enjoyed some sweet, sweet corn at the rehearsal dinner. Then on Sunday afternoon, they got married in a beautiful ceremony where the only tragedy was that I thought it would be a good idea to wear four inch heels. On Monday, we found out that my allergies extend all the way up into the far reaches of these United States and also that I should probably refrain from taking Benadryl on a holiday because no one likes to site-see with a nearly dead person in the back of the rental Camry. Also, no one likes to have to carry said dead person from back of said rental car into Hector International Airport.

Lessons learned in NoDak.

Pre-season Drama

2009-09-01T12:15:00.007-06:00

Some people have no shame.

Many, many people at the Broncos pre-season game against the Bears on Sunday night had little-to-no shame.

This guy has no shame.

He is apparently so passionate about the fact that Jay Cutler is a crybaby that he decided it was necessary to 1) purchase an adult-sized diaper 2) purchase an adult-sized bonnet 3) shave his legs 4) don adult-sized diaper and bonnet 5) leave the house 6) sit in public for four hours wearing adult-sized diaper and bonnet.

Obligatory car picture:

I have never ‘booed’ an athlete in my entire life. This girl will boo a referee, to be sure. But athletes? No. That’s unsportsmanlike conduct. And if Principal Wayne Haver taught me anything, it was that we should all behave with decorum and respect for opposing teams and their athletes. However, Sunday night when all of Mile High Stadium erupted in an almighty, thunderous ‘boo’ against Jay Cutler, I got caught up in the drama of it all. Let’s just say Wayne would not have been proud of this former Rebel.

Honestly, the booing was so loud that the stadium was shaking. I expected it to last through the first series and no further. But these Broncos fans were not messing around. They wanted to send a message to Jay, loud and clear, that they are passionate and don’t like being called anything less. Poor Jay was booed through the entire first half.

Unfortunately for us (I guess I’ll go ahead and lump myself in with the Broncos fans), it didn’t really seem to have an effect on his performance since he was 15 of 21 for 144 yards and TD at the half. Kyle Orton was something like no completions for no yards and zero touchdowns at the half.

So, really, I guess the joke was on us. Or actually I think it was just on that guy in the diaper.

Either way, it was a lot of fun to see my man Peyton Hillis drive one in for six points and I look forward to seeing him get a lot of playing time this year. I may have even called the Hogs a time or two, which brings us back to the fact that some people have no shame. And I’m proud to count myself among those people.

Funny Faces and Feet

2009-08-27T21:23:00.003-06:00

One of my former co-workers hosted a party last night for about fifty of her closest girlfriends. It was a beautiful event and one of the highlights was the caricaturist she hired for the evening. Now, I've never had a caricature done because, let's face it, Mike Cauthron was not going to pay good money to have someone draw a silly picture of me when I was a child. And now that I'm an adult, I'm sure as heck not going to pay anyone to highlight my flaws. But I'll do anything that's free.

The funniest part of the evening was that some of these women walked around the party musing that their caricature looked nothing like them. I'm here to tell you those women needed a good dose of self-awareness because their portraits looked exactly like them. Thus, as much as I would like to believe the caricature below looks nothing like me, that level of denial would just be absurd. So, I'm forced to accept that this does, in fact, resemble me. Except for that tiny little neck. Not sure where he got that.

I'm not sure if he was going for awkwardly shy, devilishly crafty, or slightly nauseated, but I do know that the fact that this man drew this picture of me in less than three minutes is amazing.

Tonight I went for a run and here is the result of that:

I think it's finally time to just let go of that pedicure and trim my toenails. Otherwise, I'll be out of socks pretty quickly.

That's all I have for now. Tomorrow is Friday, so you should probably get excited about that. I know I am. Lame foot and all.

Happy Birthday, MeeMaw!

2009-08-26T20:57:00.004-06:00

Today, August 26, is my wonderful Mee Maw's birthday. This picture is a great picture of her and a "Hunchback of Notre Dame" picture of me. But she's the important one here, so I swallowed my pride and posted it.

Mee Maw is one of the most loving people you will ever meet. I have always felt like I was the apple of her eye. She makes the best deviled eggs you will ever eat and plays a mean game of Trivial Pursuit. She has taught me many life skills that I will cherish forever. I would not be the person (hunchback?) I am today without her.

I love you, Mee Maw. Happy Birthday!

When the Crazy Takes Over

2009-08-23T20:03:00.006-06:00

I woke up Saturday morning with an overwhelming need to clean and organize absolutely everything I could think of. For some reason, it became imperative that everything in sight (and possibly out of sight under my bed) be put in some sort of tub or bin or case in an extremely organized fashion.

Sometimes the crazy just takes over like this and I just go with it because I'm not sure what would happen if I resisted, but I'm pretty sure it would involve a straitjacket and possibly a 72-hour hold with a Thorazine drip.

It all started when I went to purchase my new damask dishes from Hobby Lobby. My loving parents got me a gift card to buy these dishes for my birthday and obviously I had to wait until the Lobby had them 50% off. So I went to buy them on Friday, knowing full-well that I have no room in my cupboards for new dishes.

Naturally, I had to make some storage arrangements for the new, beautiful dishes. I think this is where the crazy really took root and it became a compulsion for me to organize not only my new dishes, but also all of the note cards I've ever owned, and all of my writing utensils, and all of my unused hangers...I think you get the picture.

Here are my new dishes. They only had enough for eight place settings in stock, so I can have exactly seven of you over for dinner some night. However, only six of you can have salad because there were only six bowls available for purchase. Aren't they the prettiest dishes ever?

Anyway, I think I've got the crazy pretty much under control now. I haven't organized my playing cards into color and number order yet, so that's something. I'm not promising I won't, though. You never know...

The Golden Bee

2009-08-20T20:57:00.007-06:00

This is Bud. Bud plays the piano at a local establishment called The Golden Bee. It is, as you may have already guessed, a piano bar. Bud enjoys playing songs like "Sweet Caroline" and "Margaritaville," among others. And I enjoy singing them at the top of my lungs. See photo below for evidence.

The sincere, heartfelt emotion registering on my face indicates that we were about three verses into "The Piano Man" at this point.

Last night my friend Jaci invited us to the Bee because her boyfriend Josh is in town for a little while and he wanted to share this experience with people who could potentially embarrass him by singing entirely too loudly.

Aren't they such a cute couple?

There are a couple of traditions that the Bee is famous for. Firstly, they serve "yards" of beer. It's like four pints of beer in a really, really tall tubey glass thing that needs a stand because without it, the yard would topple over. Or tump over as I am wont to say. It's a lot of fun to watch someone finish their yard because everyone cheers and makes merry. There's merrymaking, to be sure.

The other thing that is tradition is that the waitresses throw these bee stickers on you. Josh is sporting one here. Please note my stellar use of "Paint" to highlight the bee.

Turns out, as I was lamely singing "Yellow Submarine" in a voice some would liken to the sound a banshee might make, my little sister Heather was listening to Sir Paul sing it live at the new Cowboys Stadium. I bet you now wish she was writing this blog.

Oh, well. The Bee is always a good time. It's a landmark in Colorado Springs and if you come to visit me, I promise to take you there. And I promise to try to lose my voice before we go to spare you some humiliation.

Highway to the...um, Cheesecake Factory

2009-08-19T15:09:00.006-06:00

Giddy-up.

I have no idea why I just started this post with the words "Giddy-up," but I'm tired of starting my posts with clever things like "well" and "so" and the occasional "um." Thus, giddy-up.

Moving along.

Last night Ashley and Alecia and I tried to do something truly spectacular. Denver has an outdoor amphitheater called Red Rocks. You might've heard of it-- all the cool kids have. Once a week during the summer Red Rocks projects a movie onto the, um, rocks (the red ones, I suppose) and people come from miles around to sit beneath the Colorado sky, overlooking the city of Denver, and watch said movie.

It's a treat, I'm sure. I do not know this for a fact, however, because last night when we attempted to take in a little "Top Gun" we were thwarted. Big time. Apparently you've got to wake up pretty early in the morning to get a ticket to this event each week. People in Denver do not mess around with their outdoor film viewing.

Alas, we were already en route to Denver when we discovered that everyone and their chia pet would be heading to the Danger Zone and we would not. We considered our options: a) Head back home and watch Top Gun on my laptop whilst sitting in my backyard b) Continue on to The Cheesecake Factory and partake in Vanilla Bean Cheesecake made by the gods themselves on Mount Olympus with Zeus and them.

Given those options and the title of this post, it oughtta be pretty obvious what we chose. My sadness over missing out on Goose and Mav for another year was assuaged by the cheesecake. Because if cheescake is anything, it's a sadness assuager-er. And also a waistline transformer.

And then it later becomes a catch-22 because you keep eating cheesecake to mitigate your sadness about having a big ol' waistline.

And that, my friends, is why we are overweight in America. Because Red Rocks sold out of tickets to Top Gun. Or maybe that's just me.

G.I. Oh, No.

2009-08-18T12:43:00.005-06:00

I like movies. A lot. I also like movie trivia. I am one of those annoying people who will turn to you in the movie theater and say “What’s she been in?” If I can’t figure it out pretty much immediately, it will ruin the entire movie for me and probably you too, my friend, because I just can’t let. it. go.

So when I saw “G.I. Joe: Rise of the Cobra” last weekend it was no surprise that I attempted to mentally make up a full filmography for every single person in the cast, with the exception of the girl playing the main female role. Because I don’t know what she did to get that part, but I have my theories, and almost none of them involve your standard screen test. It is almost impossible to make an action movie that’s too cheesy and/or over the top for me, but this girl did it with unparalleled success.

I mean she really can’t act.

Really.

I IMDB’d the movie for a little research and skill-honing and found out that Sienna Miller is the “actress” credited with the train wreck that is Ana/Baroness de Cobray.

Turns out, things haven’t been so great for Sienna, acting-wise. I perused her biography and noticed a lot of this: “Sienna was beat out for the part of ___________ in __________ by someone who can actually act.”

And because of this, I feel validated in my shameless criticism of this poor beautiful girl who should probably never be cast in another film ever. You should just know that I really wanted to love that movie, Sienna. But you made it very difficult, nigh impossible.

Shame on you.

Okay, now that we’re done with my personal review of a movie you’ve probably not seen, I would also like to tell you about the bridal shower my friends and I hosted last weekend. My friends Ginna & Steve are getting married in three weeks and we got together on Saturday to celebrate with Ginna.

Here are some pictures:

Isn't Ginna going to be a lovely bride?

The Girl Who Cried Wolf

2009-08-17T16:41:00.003-06:00

Gather round, friends. It's story time.

Friday was a busy day for me and my emotions were a little frayed. Ragged, so to speak. Combustible, if you will.

I had about 70 home visits scheduled and I finally arrived at one of the last home visits of the day to have a GIANT dog greet me at the door. I've never been afraid of a dog in my entire life. Last week,a client's Jack Russell jumped up and somehow managed to fling my skirt up to my neck. I've been drooled on, snotted on, shed on, scratched, climbed upon and generally abused by the canine companions my clients keep.

But this dog was mammoth. Behemoth, even.

I bulldozed my way to the couch and said a little prayer that 'Kota' would not rip me to shreds. Kota then began to play a little game where he "nudged" me with his snout and I fell off the couch. And yet these people remained completely oblivious to the fact that I was being manhandled by their dog.

Then, I took a closer look at Kota. You know what I noticed? Kota didn't really have many dog-like qualities about him. In fact, Kota looked a lot like this:

So I asked politely "What kind of dog is Kota?"

Yes, I asked. Even though I've always been taught not to ask a question you don't want to know the answer to. Let's just say that Kota has some instincts that include: ripping people's throats out, ripping other animals' throats out, howling at the moon...do you see where I'm going with this?

Okay, so he was only 1/2 wolf, but that was enough to make me wanna take the 14 month old using him as a pillow home with me. I'm just sayin.

Venti Frustrations

2009-08-14T09:34:00.003-06:00

I have one question: At what point does it become indecent to continue crying about a haircut you got over twelve hours ago?

I wanted Sandra and instead got “The Rachel” circa 1995. The fact is, that woman was going to cut my hair how she wanted, no matter what I said. But you listen here, hairdresser lady, I take issue with the fact that you show me you are going to take 2 inches off and then proceed to whack 5 INCHES OFF OF MY HEAD. I worked really hard to grow those split ends out, sister.

Actually, here’s what it sort of looks like:

Except I’m not blond, my neck doesn’t have that gazelle-like quality, and I don’t have the gorgeous face to distract people from the fact that my hair makes me look like a circus freak.

There are worse things in life, I’m sure.

And those worse things are:
1) Getting a skinny cinnamon latte when you ordered a skinny caramel latte.
2) Realizing that none of your co-workers have even noticed your awful haircut (or maybe they’re just too scared to say anything about it?) because you generally wear your hair in some sort of bun-like creation everyday anyway. They didn’t know how long your hair was to begin with.
3) Finally coming to grips with the fact that those bags under your eyes are never.going.away. No matter how much sleep you get.
4) Having to listen to Charlotte’s* hacking smoker’s cough and wheezy asthmatic breathing over the cubicle wall all day.

Thank you for listening to my petty and overstated problems.

Signed,
Resident Drama Queen

* Names have been changed to protect the breathless.

Shear Disaster?

2009-08-13T08:56:00.005-06:00

Today is a special day. It's the one day every ~~two years~~ three months that I decide I will try to do something about the mess I've made of my hair. Yep, I'm getting a haircut.

I decided a couple of weeks ago that I am tired of the long, straight look and would like to do something a little more daring this time. I want to keep it long for now because I'm approaching the celebration of the anniversary of having lived on this earth for three decades and at that point envision having shorter hair, probably for the rest of my born days.

All that to say, I've made the fateful decision to get LAYERS (cue dramatic music). The picture below is an accurate representation of what I'm trying to accomplish.

Also, I've been trying to rock this look below for like several years and have determined that it is simply impossible without the aid of layers.

Doesn't Sandra look so happy in this photo? I think if she could talk, she'd be saying "Does my hair not look freakin' awesome?"

If you believe I am making a terrible mistake to go with layers, you have until 5:30PM Mountain Standard Time to try and stop me. It will take some darn good persuading, though. I'm pretty dead-set on trying to look like Sandra.

It's the Final Countdown

2009-08-11T14:23:00.004-06:00

There are three things I like best in life. The first is enjoying a cherry coke ICEE at a movie of my choosing. The second is tiny little post-it notes with my initials on them. And the third thing that I like best in life is spending each and every Saturday in the fall season of the year throwing things at my television and screaming at the Arkansas Razorbacks.

You’d think the ol’ “this is our year” philosophy would have gotten tired after 28 years of hoping, but if you thought that then your thinking would be wrong, you see. Hope springs eternal each year from this side of the football season. In August, I’m the world’s biggest optimist. December, however, is another story. Honestly you’d be hard-pressed to find another person as crabby as me come bowl season.

No matter how mediocre my Razorbacks turn out to be each year, though, I cannot help but drink the BCS bowl kool-aid when fall practice starts and even find myself caught up in talk of an inevitable Razorback National Championship every so often.

It’s a sickness, really. I’m trying to get some help.

With kick-off a mere 25 days, 2 hours, 23 minutes and 20 seconds away, I’ve been reading up on the season and trying to fill the interim period with entertaining football news.

Here are some things I’ve run across:

Please tell me these are not for real.

I have three words: Merry. Christmas. Dad. If you want to purchase your own pair for that special man in your life, they are available here.

Then there’s this guy who is writing a book about faith and fanaticism in the SEC. I’ve been trying to tell (or rather, demonstrate for) my friends from other parts of the country how we do not mess around with football in the Southeastern Conference. Now they can read about it. It will be like a window into my soul.

It's officially time to get excited now that we are less than 4 weeks out. My helmet schedule has been printed and affixed to my cubicle wall. The obligatory pilgrimage to Donald W. Reynolds Razorback Stadium has been planned. Foam fingers have been purchased. All we do now is wait...and pray that this will finally be the season when all my dreams come true (Razorback or otherwise).

Well, I Never

2009-08-05T16:28:00.003-06:00

It has been brought to my attention that my beauty queen wave, demonstrated in the last post, may make me look slightly "special."

One of my so-called friends lovingly pointed this out to me last night. And to that friend I would just like to say: Please stop reading my blog. Otherwise, you may feel the need to point out all of my other shortcomings and that would just make me feel bad about myself.

To my other readers I would just like to say that I knew full well that I looked a little "touched" in that picture, but didn't have time to crop it before posting.

To the Internets who don't read this blog but may have stumbled upon this particular picture by Googling things like "ridiculously awkward wave" or "slightly scary looking girl in a tiara," well, I'm sorry you had to see that.

That is all.

Babies, Burns, and Boo-yah.

2009-08-04T13:00:00.008-06:00

I traveled to the Dallas/Fort Worth region of these United States last weekend to go to the lake with some of my college besties. It’s a tradition we started way back in college when we were young, and poor, and had no sense. We decided that every year we would take a weekend in July and try to die of sun poisoning and heat exhaustion at some lake in the mid-south. For years, we tent camped at just about all of the lakes between Arkansas, Oklahoma, and Texas. And for years we enjoyed it.

Finally, though, someone had a kid and we got a little good sense knocked into us.

I give you…“The Lake House.”

Isn’t it beautiful? I could never have imagined having such a nice place to stay. It was perfect. And I’ve gotta say, this really beats trying to decide which married couple’s tent to crash in. It was getting a little awkward being the only single gal left in the group. I’m just sayin…

On Friday night my friend Whitney hosted a murder mystery. We all dressed up as our characters and acted out parts as guys and dolls at a cookout in the 50’s. I was Tiara Diamond, the beauty queen whose fiancé had been murdered. Duh.

It was a barrel of laughs having everyone dressed up in costume. And you’d be surprised at how many “That’s What She Said” jokes the Christian kids can come up with when faced with dialogue borne of the 1950’s.
It goes without saying that the majority of my time was spent holding Lyla and playing with Ayan, my friend’s 2 ½ year old. I cannot tell you what a joy it was to be around these two for the weekend. Ayan allowed me to share each meal with him at his Dora picnic table and he sheltered me from some wayward ducks that seemed determined to attack me out on the lake. Unfortunately, I think I may have passed an irrational fear of birds on to the child.

Despite the gobs of sunscreen we spent hours applying to one another, we all still got fried crispy and I’ll tell you many, many aloe plants had to be harmed to render us mobile again.

Some of the boys went Striper fishing (please note: one “p”) and decided it would be funny to redneck it up a bit. This is what they came up with:
Their wives didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Incidentally, it made for an awkward moment when Mark, the fishing guide, showed up in the exact same hat. Can you say Redneck Fashion Faux Pas? If you can't read their hats, one says "Yum" and said "Start a feeding frenzy" on the back. The other says "Boo-yah!" and said "Say it loud, say it proud" on the back. Oh, boy.

Embarrassing hats aside, I am so blessed to have such amazing, fun friends who love to just get out and have a good time...even if we look silly. Until next year, Lake Texoma.

Happy Birthday Paw Paw!

2009-07-29T22:14:00.003-06:00

Today is my grandfather's (commonly referred to as Paw Paw) birthday. It's been mentioned numerous times on this blog, but I have the best grandparents anyone could ever ask for. There has never been a day in my life that I haven't felt cherished by them.

My Paw Paw is one of the hardest workers I know. He is usually out in the ten thousand degree Arkansas heat doing yard work when I call. He is also one of the funniest people I know. If you think I'm funny (which I know you probably don't, but just let me make a point) it's because I got my sense of humor from my family; and Paw Paw was instrumental in that. He's the king of one-liners!

Paw Paw, I love you! I hope you had a wonderful day!

Just Junk

2009-07-29T14:25:00.007-06:00

Can you believe it's already the end of July? Neither can the state of Colorado, apparently, because he (if I'm personifying a state, I get to choose what gender he will be) seems to believe that it's actually something like mid-October around here. Honestly, I just went out to a home visit and the temperature gauge in my car proclaimed that it is 56 degrees outside. FIFTY-SIX! And that's not all. There's a torrential downpour to go along with it.

Before I get lots of hate mail from my friends who live in the seventh circle of Hades, heat-wise, let me be clear that I am not complaining.

I am NOT upset about this strange weather for a multitude of reasons:

1) I have no air conditioning in my home. It's this crazy thing where people in the state of Colorado think they don't need to employ the use of modern technology to make themselves comfortable. I swear, if I hear about the heat here being a "dry heat" one more time...tell it to my "sodden armpits."

2) My sod has never looked better. No thanks to anything I've been doing, obviously. And I'm not having to pay the $7.50 per gallon of water that Colorado Springs Utilities seems to have decided would be an appropriate charge in this economy.

3) The wind blew what looked to be the beginnings of a bird's nest right off of my porch. Hallelujah. Now I don't have to duck and cover every time I go get the mail (rarely) or go out to water the lawn (never).

4) It is possibly snowing a bit on the Peak which means that for my own personal safety, I probably shouldn't climb anything that is remotely close to the Peak. Which, my friends, includes the Incline. Gosh darn you, mid-summer snowstorm! Grrrr... I really wanted to climb that tomorrow morning!

Here are some things I have been enjoying in this climate.

I know, lame segue.

Nature Valley Nut Clusters. Like 'em. Although I just found out that they "voluntarily recalled" the pecan version, so buy that kind at your own risk. I have been enjoying the almond variety and am happy to report no food-borne illness as of press time.
I'm reading My Life in France. Julia Child lived a fascinating life. It makes me want to go to Le Cordon Bleu school. I'm working on my pronunciation and diction of French first. You should hear me say, well, anything in French. It's lovely.
I'm also reading Crazy Love by Frances Chan. Halfway through and enjoying it so far, but I can only take about a drop of serious in my morning coffee, so it's taking me a while.

I'm thrilled to tell you that I am the proud owner of the ruffly, girly dress pictured above. I know it may look blue in the picture, but when you receive it in the mail from your friends at Victoria's Secret via FedEx, it will be seersucker. And let me tell you, that's a lot of seersucker. Let that be a lesson to you about online shopping. Always roll over the picture for the enlarged version. Always.

Now for the real news. In a little over 24 hours, I will be holding this adorable little mess.

My friends Stephanie and Aaron are the proud parents of this precious, perfect, tiny thing named Lyla. I regret to inform you that if you need my arms at any point within the next five days, you are out of luck. They will undoubtedly be holding Lyla.

I bet you just cried a little. I know I did.

Reunited and It Feels So Good

2009-07-27T22:12:00.009-06:00

As you know, I attended my high school reunion last weekend. Let me just tell you, between 1996 and 1999, I was Miss High School. Not literally. Heavens no. I couldn't win a pageant under threat of bodily harm. I sweat and cry when faced with the opportunity to entertain people with my tap dancing slash baton twirling skills. Or whatever it is they make you do in a pageant.

However, I truly loved all things high school and would totally go back today if I had the chance. That's the way it's been with each stage of my life. There really hasn't been a time that I've hated and would refuse to go back and do again. Other than my seemingly endless "awkward phase" which actually just ended...um, let's see...carry the one...divided by two...um, last week. So never mind.

But forget all that. What I came here to tell you is that I had an amazing time at the reunion. It was so much fun to catch up with people and hear about what they've been up to over the last decade, and see who they've become.

There were some surprises, no doubt. What overwhelmed me, though, was how great everyone seems to be doing. It was really inspiring to see what people have been doing with their lives. And by inspiring, I mean depressing.

I kid. I kid.

Here I am with a great group of ladies. I'm so impressed with what these women are doing with their lives and all they've accomplished.

Friday night my friend Taylor had a dinner for several of us and I marveled at how most of us truly had not seen each other in ten years, but it seemed like hardly any time had passed. To me, that is the measure of true friendship and proves that we've grown into mature adults who are comfortable with ourselves. No matter how many hours we may or may not spend watching Hannah Montana each week. Not that I know anyone who watches Hannah Montana. It's just an example. Of me. Watching Hannah Montana.

If you're as old as me and have a ten year reunion coming up, go. Even if you're nervous or didn't like high school or never have quite gotten rid of that Senior 70. Er, I mean, Freshman 15.

Trust me. You may learn something about yourself. And, if your experience is anything like mine, you may also learn something about some of the slightly intoxicated girls who never really spoke to you in high school but felt that the best time to open up would be in the ladies' room ten years later.

The Haps of Late

2009-07-23T14:24:00.005-06:00

Here are some recent happenings in my life. I know you probably don't care, but I'm trying to document the fact that I lived and breathed while on this earth, so I'm posting some highlights for July of 2009.

Firstly, I went to the Pikes Peak or Bust Rodeo two weeks ago with some friends. It was great good fun because there were bulls, cowboys, Amish folk, a really really fat naked baby, and cowboys. Oh, and I almost forgot the best part-- Fresh Squeezed Cherry Lemonade. Mmmm...

Here are some pictures:

This is an Amish family that sat right in front of us. I'm not sure if Amish children put hexes and/or curses on people who are wild and possibly a little rambunctious. But if they do, I have definitely been hexed by the child in the white hat pictured above. My friend Alecia and I let out nary a "whoop" where this child did not turn 180 degrees to give us a look of utmost loathing.

Then I had a birthday and my friends threw the lovliest party for me. The food is pictured below, but apparently no one felt the need to get actual birthday pictures. I have no documentation that I blew out all 19 candles (as you know, I just had my one year high school reunion, so in keeping with the charade, I obviously turned 19).

Then on Wednesday last, I had the privilege of seeing Sugarland/Keith Urban at the Pepsi Center in Denver. Well, I mostly watched them on the large screens they brought because the $20 seats to this show were basically somewhere between Denver and Outer Mongolia.

An obvious highlight of this evening was that the woman pictured above was sitting directly in front of me. And there is just nothing better to me than an octogenarian sporting pigtails secured with yarn. I swear, I haven't seen anyone use those tie thingies for their hair since approximately 1986 and that was even pushing it.

Some other highlights were when we got FREE queso at dinner. I'd like to say it was because we dazzled the waiter with our stunning good looks and keen wit, but it was actually just because they made us move tables half a dozen times before letting us sit down and order. Still, maybe the waiter wanted us in close proximity to him at all times. Or maybe he was trying to get us out of his line of sight. I choose to believe the former.

The final highlight was that I learned I have GPS on my phone. This really comes in handy for a woefully forgetful person like myself. I am forever leaving my MapQuest directions on the printer at work. Oh, and I forgot the part where Keith declared his undying love to me from the stage. It took all of my will power, but I rebuffed him. I mean, what would Nicole and Sunday Rose do without him? Really, Keith. I thought you were better than that.

And lastly the good people of the Geek Squad have redeemed themselves by returning my laptop computer machine to my care wholly reconditioned and with all of my pictures and iTunes. Because heaven forbid I lose all of the pictures of women with yarn braids. That would just be tragic.

I just know you're dying for a reunion update. I'm fashioning it currently but I want to do it justice. And as I won't have anything else to write about in the forseeable future, I've gotta draw this stuff out a bit. Hold your horses.

Reunion Dilemma

2009-07-14T17:13:00.012-06:00

Well the Geek Squad is not as "on it" as I had originally hoped. However, I love you all so much that I am staying a bit late at work to shoot off a little bitty old blog post to be read on the webbsies of interrelatedness.

And also I may need some help.

I'm going to my 1 year high school reunion this weekend. Yes, I graduated high school 1 years ago. Weird, the zero key on this keyboard seems to not be working.

Anyway, I bought a dress to wear. And here it is:

Except I won't slouch in it as much as this girl apparently feels the need to do. Also, this picture doesn't really do it justice, but it's the only one I can find on these here internets, so deal with it. I will be pairing this brown dress with some wedges that are brown and very chic. I will also be pairing it with some jewelry that I have yet to purchase.

I'm thinking something like this:

Or some other bright color.

We are having a dinner and dance (at Adelaide for all you Fort Smithians) and the dress says "summertime casual--sundresses and sandals for the ladies." Do you think this will do? Or should I go with something more casual?

I also bought a long black and white maxi dress which I can't find a picture of either. So just imagine it in your head and tell me if you like it better than the brown dress.

I'm counting on you to make the right decision.

Times is Hard

2009-07-10T10:00:00.002-06:00

I regret to inform you that last week in a moment of clumsiness, which is so completely out of the ordinary for me, I may have possibly by accident tripped over the cord of my laptop computer machine. There is a possibility that, as a result of this accidental misstep, the screen of said laptop may have been rendered useless.

The Geek Squad is on it.

I will be back with a blogging vengeance very soon. Lord willing.

Oh, Sod It All!

2009-06-30T09:09:00.004-06:00

I am a renter to the extreme chagrin of my realtor grandmother and most of my other family members. I rent for reasons including, but not limited to the following: I am too poor to afford an entire mortgage without having to sacrifice things like food and toilet paper, I cannot fix anything if it goes wrong and, being poor as I am, do not have the money to pay someone else to fix it, and finally, and most importantly, I do not like investing time or money in lawns, landscaping, or gardening.

However, my landlord lacks a certain sense of motivation when it comes to things like oh, I don't know, making sure our house has grass. I simply ignored this fact for two years while our neighbors spat at my car as I drove up and left flaming bags of you-know-what on our porch. Recently, though, things rose to a fever pitch when Chuck and Kathy threatened our very lives if we didn't put some grass down and I knew something must be done to prevent the neighborhood crime rate from skyrocketing.

So last weekend, my friend Alecia and I laid about 50 rolls of sod in my front yard to appease the good people of the Charleston Place community and the lawn gods. I'm happy to report that 5 days later it still falls in the "green" category of the visible spectrum. I'm sorry to report that I still can't walk as a result of the lifting and raking and cursing and bending at the waist. Well, the cursing probably has little to do with my infirmed state. Regardless, I now have a lawn and will hopefully live to water it another day.

Currently...

2009-06-26T09:41:00.007-06:00

I'm snacking on these...They are so tasty. If you love coconut and world peace, you should definitely try these.

I'm wearing these in black and white... They are incredibly comfortable. I got them from Victoria's Secret on-line and LOVE them!

I'm reading this...

...thanks to some of my friends who apparently thought I needed a leg-up where dating is concerned. You have to meet FIVE new guys a week! Help me out if you know anyone new to introduce me to!

I'm dreading...

Level 2. It's time to move to the next level, but the pain is going to be unbearable.

I'm looking forward to...

Keith Urban. Pepsi Center. Denver. July 15. Oh, yeah.

Bad, Bad Blogger.

2009-06-25T14:43:00.004-06:00

I’m back, Blog-o-Sphere. I spent several hours this morning pulling the weeds that had grown up around my computer screen. My blog was looking pretty derelict. Abandoned. Dilapidated. I think I might have something to write about today, though. We’ll see where my thoughtless ramblings and unrestrained typing takes us and you can be the judge of that unrealistic claim.

I’ve worked past the hour of five o’clock everyday this week and even past the hour of six o’clock several times, so I haven’t had much of a life to update about. I’d like to tell you I’ve been working my rear off, but that would be awfully optimistic and seriously delusional on my part. And I’m trying to make only one unconvincing declaration per blog post.

EAR-regardless…the first new thing I would like to share with you is that I climbed the Incline AGAIN last Saturday. You’ll recall that last time it took me a sweet forever to reach the summit. This time, I was eight minutes under that mark! And no one even offered me CPR! It was a moral victory indeed. Indubitably. Without a doubt.

Someone got a new Thesaurus, in case you were wondering.

That’s a lie. I just like synonyms.

Other moral victories that have occurred this week:

I remembered to put the trash out this morning.
That fly that’s been buzzing around my room finally died. Unfortunately, it seems that it died whilst flying right above my head thus landing, in death, right beside my pillow. I awoke to find its carcass staring me right in the eyes like something out of the Godfather, only not quite as bloody.
I guessed the year correctly on "Remember the Time" (it's a radio contest) AGAIN this morning for approximately the 90th time in a row. The answer was 1995. It's proof that my mind is a steel trap because I was brainless and stupid in 1995. And had a crush on every boy. So pretty similar to 2009.
I’m back on track with the SIP.

Moral victories that I’m hoping to be able to report by next week:

I removed and unpacked the suitcase that has been in the back of my car for more than a week now.
I picked the dead fly carcass up off the floor, where it landed after I lightly brushed it off my bed, and threw it away.
Something happened to me that is worthy of writing about on this blog.

In conclusion, I guess I really didn’t have anything to write about today. However, I said that you could be the judge, so I am putting my fate in your hands with poll on my sidebar. I think if you vote, you should comment too and justify your answer. Enjoy!

My Stay in Terminal B

2009-06-18T10:58:00.007-06:00

If you haven’t heard me recount the following tale yet, well, you’re in the minority. I’ve pretty much talked to death anyone capable of listening to my sob story. And while majority traditionally rules in most locales, this blog is not one of them. So, this one’s for the one of you who hasn’t been forced to garner any sympathy for my plight yet. Hope you’re feeling benevolent today.

Last Wednesday I embarked on a journey to Fort Smith, AR at approximately 4:35 PM MST. My anticipated arrival time in Fort Smith, AR was 9:30 PM CST, same day. Had I known the trials that would befall me in the next 24 hours, I would have stayed in bed.

I think a list of new experiences might be the most appropriate medium for helping you understand what transpired.

Prior to Wednesday, June 10, 2009 I had never…

Had a plane make an emergency landing in Wichita Falls, TX because the air conditioner was releasing smoke into the cabin.
Experienced a loss of cabin pressure while making an emergency landing.

Been forced to sit on a plane with no air conditioning for five hours next to a strange man with absolutely no regard for personal leg space or awareness of his halitosis.
“Slept” on a cot in Terminal B of the DFW airport.

Cried myself to “sleep” on a cot in Terminal B of the DFW airport.
Feared that someone might take my life in order to procure the valuables I was sleeping on.

Eaten at an airport TGI Fridays six consecutive times. Apparently I'm a stress eater.

Washed my hair in an automatic sink in an airport.

Had 5 flights in a row cancelled for no conceivable reason.

Paid approximately one-half of my yearly income to rent a car to drive one-way to Fort Smith from Dallas.

Completely disregarded a toll booth because I didn’t see it through my tears.

Received a checked bag in which every single solitary item was completely soaked and some of it ruined.

Been in a verbal and physical altercation with most of the employees of American Airlines.

Seriously considered wandering into oncoming traffic.

However, thanks to American Airlines, I can now say that I’ve done each of these things.

Here is a picture of my bed to prove it.

That is my sweatshirt in the pillow area. It should not be mistaken for a blanket or a pillow. I had neither. And no, I don't know what that large stain in the middle of the cot is. And yes, it was there before I received said cot. And yes, I do have a weird rash now.

I had a lovely time at home once I arrived. The wedding I attended was beautiful and lots of fun. I got to spend a lot of quality time with my wonderful family. And the cherry on top--my flight home was without consequence. PTL.

View from the Top

2009-06-08T08:37:00.003-06:00

The highly anticipated (read: dreaded) climb up The Incline took place on Saturday. It was, once again, everything my nightmares predicted it would be. This being my second trek up the mountain, I knew what to expect.

I knew immediately upon our departure that this time would be no better than the last. The trail appeared not to have changed one bit and I myself am at pretty much the same woeful level of fitness that I was last time I made the journey. I'm not sure what I expected, but it may have involved fantasies about Incline-flattening landslides or extreme, landscape-altering erosion. No such luck.

As the trail rises 2000+ feet in elevation over the course of a mile, with a 68% grade at its steepest point, I will describe to you what took place at each elevation.

6574 feet: Okay, I can do this. I've been working out steadily and have really seen an improvement in my stamina. Surely it will be better this time.

6600 feet: Um, I have literally walked up the equivalent of one flight of stairs. Please tell me my legs are not already burning.

6800 feet: It was here that the profuse sweating and subsequent unbearable stench began.

7000 feet: Then came the crying because that was the "easy" part of the trail.

7200 feet: I can make it to that tree. I can. Just keep walking. Ignore the searing pain in your quadriceps.

7600 feet: At this point, no less than 3 people stopped to "check on me" and some offered to give me CPR if I felt it was necessary. People: My friends are sitting right here. If I needed CPR, surely they wouldn't be laughing and pointing at me. Context clues. And do people usually give CPR to a person who is conscious, anyhow?

7601-8300ish feet: I feel the need to shield you, to somehow protect you from the dark and desperate times that occurred between this period, so I shall spare you most of the details. Suffice it to say that by the end of it, I was sure that should I perish on this path, there was little chance of me being admitted into Heaven.***

8301 feet: The False Summit. The Dream Crusher. No matter how many times you tell yourself it's there and you're going to have to face it, it will inevitably steal part of your soul when you reach the crest and see how far you've left to go.

8400 feet: It was here that the two legs I was given by my Creator mutinied against me and failed to be sufficient for the remainder of the journey. The next twenty minutes were spent in the fetal position trying to coax them back into submission to my Brain Stem, knowing that should they refuse, I was going to have to army crawl the rest of the way or be airlifted out.

8585 feet: I made it. And yet the trauma of it all prevented me from feeling any type of joy or satisfaction from reaching the top.

Then we walked the four mile trail back to the bottom, as climbing back down The Incline is hazardous to your health. Wonder why that didn't stop us from climbing up it?

Then I spent the remainder of Saturday and most of Sunday curled up in my bed muttering things that were incomprehensible even to myself.

What did you do this weekend?

***Please note that this post is dripping with sarcasm and I in no way believe that our works (or lack thereof) are the deciding factor in what permits us to enter Heaven. The blood of Christ as forgiveness for our sins is the only way into Heaven.

2009-06-03T10:17:00.002-06:00

As promised, I have returned from my family reunion with some pictures that I have failed to upload.

You're welcome.

I was going to wait and write a recap when I uploaded those pesky pictures, but I figured my readership would likely plummet if I failed to post anything for the next decade and one half.

Let's have a play-by-play of the reunion from start to finish, shall we? I just want you to experience it the way I did and give you the feeling that you were right there with me. As most of you readers are related to me, it's more than likely that you actually were right there with me.

Please imagine the "24" beeping sound (deet, deet, deet, deet, deet, deet) before each time period. Hopefully you know what I'm talking about in spite of my sad attempt at the onomatopoeia.

The following takes place between 8:00am and 3:00pm Friday, May 29, 2009:
Frequent and repeated outgoing calls to Heather for specific details on how to check-in for a flight on Southwest Airlines.

Me:"Do they really want me to go right on ahead and print my boarding pass?"
Heather: "Yes."

Me: "Is this regular piece of paper with a questionable looking bar code actually my boarding pass?"
Heather: "Yes."

Me: "Are you sure I won't get 'cavity searched' by TSA if I try to board a plane with this shoddy looking boarding pass?"
Heather: "Yes."

Me: "I'm going to check in at the airport anyway."
Heather: "You go right ahead."

As you can see, I usually fly American. I'm good at American. American is easy and less harrowing.

The following takes place between 4:35pm MST and 7:10pm CST on May 29, 2009:
Score. I get the row with the open middle seat because the slightly psychotic girl beside me lied and told everyone the seat was taken a la Forest Gump.

Wait, they're asking people with an open middle seat to move because a family needs to sit together.

La Crazy is offering our row. She must not be soulless after all.

Oh, great. Now I have to wedge myself between McElbows and Sir Sweats a Lot. I'll be nice and offer to pass McElbows some peanuts.

And he completely ignored me. Apparently I've become invisible.

For my next trick, I will attempt to put both shoulders back in their sockets.

The following takes place between 7:45pm on Friday, May 29 and 5:00pm on May 31, 2009:
Arrive at reunion.
Greet people whose names I should remember but probably do not.
Attempt to use Bounce dryer sheets to ward off mosquitoes.
Conclude that Bounce dryer sheets do not ward off mosquitoes, despite the repeated e-mail forwards I've received claiming they do.
Eat.
Play dominoes.
Sleep.
Eat.
Play dominoes.
Eat.
Play dominoes.
Eat.
Sleep.
Try the dryer sheets one more time.
Return to the airport.
Board the plane without texting/calling Heather a single time. Moral victory.

Really though, I had a fantastic time at the reunion and it was great to catch up with some people I had not seen in a long time. The weather was great, the venue was perfect, and the food was good! Great job on the planning, Nanaw!

A Blog Neglected

2009-05-28T09:01:00.003-06:00

My poor blog has been completely neglected this week. I'm so sorry, little blog. It's just that I've had some semblance of a social life this week and I've worked a lot.

Oh, and I gave my work computer some horrible virus that will take days to eradicate. Yeah, there's that too. So, please don't take it personally, bloggy-poo. It's not you, it's me.

Okay, now that I'm done apologizing to my blog (that got weird for a minute, right?), I will tell you what I've been up to.

A) As previously stated, I've been spending a lot of time infecting and destroying precious, expensive county technology with the virus to end all viruses.

2) Memorial Day weekend was a hit. Although it rained here practically the whole weekend, we still had plenty of good times. An old coworker and former line dancing friend from Hopeless & Homeless (my former place of work (And no, that's not really the name)) was visiting from Nebraska. It was great to catch up with her.

D) I finally won Settlers of Catan! You may recall that it became my singular focus and sole ambition a few months ago. Carrie and I took down a bunch of seasoned veterans. It is the defining moment in my life up to this point and I just don't know what could ever top it.

7) I wish I had uploaded some pictures to make this more interesting and give proof that I have friends who spend time with me.

Y) I bet you do too.

Tomorrow I am going to Oklahoma City to see my Nanaw and various other "family" members at a "family" reunion. I'll be back on Sunday with pictures that I will have taken but won't have uploaded. So check back on Monday for a description of the pictures I took but refuse to show you. It'll be good times.

Get Your Weekend On

2009-05-22T09:59:00.010-06:00

It's Friday! Woo-diddly-hoo! I'm so excited about this weekend and about the fact that today is my day off from all things climbing, hiking, running, lifting, Shreding, and just generally hurting.

Tonight we're going to see "Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian." I've been looking forward to it for months. I love hilarious, clean movies.

On Saturday I'm going to a street festival called "Territory Days." This festival is the kick-off of The Season of Perpetual Happiness. Otherwise known as summer. Summer is a season of happiness not only because of the wonderful weather, but also because I generally spend my weekends at some manner of street festival, county fair, concert, or rodeo. These things are what keep me getting out of bed in the mornings. I'm motivated by the prospect of spotting a spectacular mullet, sipping a giant cherry lemonade, and eating something fried on a stick.

Don't judge me.

Then Sunday my friend and former roommate of almost three years, Lauren, is getting married. I love a good wedding. I can't resist the temptation to make a fool of myself on the dance floor in front of friends and relatives of friends. It beats my usual M.O. of making a fool of myself on the dance floor in front of people who don't know me and thus, couldn't care less about hurting my feelings, prompting them to mock me openly.

Sadly, I am dateless for this wedding. It's probably because I would rather shove bamboo shoots up my fingernails than ask someone I'm not dating to accompany me to a wedding so that I can end up embarrassing myself and my pity date by dancing with reckless abandon to The Cupid Shuffle.

Finally, on Monday I will be getting my cookout on at Denise and Jaci's house. I love cookouts. And my friends. And, unrelated to this particular subject, sno-cones. Just in case you were wondering.

The Finale

2009-05-21T09:49:00.002-06:00

Last American Idol post this year…I promise. I just have to give a play-by-play of the finale last night because it was so entertaining/hysterical/odd.

My thoughts on the evening in chronological order:

1) 7:07 PM Queen Latifah…hmmm…was a full-length, one-piece body suit really the best wardrobe choice here? I mean, I know you’re confident in who you are and all that, but doesn’t getting up on stage in front of America make that proclamation, even without form-fitting cat suits? When you start using spandex to prove a point, it almost always ends in tears.
2) 7:21 PM Alexis Whatshername, is that a giant bow coming out of your head or are those feathers? Either way, the fashion police should have taken you down right then and there.
3) 7:34 PM Favorite. Idol. performance. ever. Kris Allen and Keith Urban should start a band. Seriously.
4) 7:46 PM Confusion ensues due to censorship during Fergie’s Boom Boom Pow solo. Wardrobe malfunction? Sudden urge to potty? No. Apparently Will.i.am. didn’t feel confident enough in Fergie Ferg’s editing skills and asked the network to censor it because she couldn’t be trusted not to go buck-wild on national TV. It makes no difference to me. I can’t understand anything she’s saying anyway.
5) 7:54 PM Bikini Girl is taking home the “You Should Be Ashamed of Yourself” award. And now she’s singing. Wait, Kara DioGuardi is singing too. Hey, she’s got a really decent voice. Why didn’t Kara try out for Idol? She really could have established herself as an artist.
6) 8:04 PM Wow. Cindy Lauper’s legs look like the Wicked Witch of the East’s deflated legs after she got hit by that house. Also, how old is that woman? 56. TheGoogles confirm that she is 56.
7) 8:12 PM My phone just beeped. Better go check it. Oh, it’s a text from my sister, Heather. “Yay, Kris!!” I’M IN A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE YOU DIMWIT! She’s never really understood time zones. I can’t blame her for that.
8) 8:24 PM Does Gene Simmons really need to stick his tongue out like that in between each syllable? Honestly, we get it. You have an exceptionally long tongue and really, really questionable taste in clothing/makeup/hairstyles/boots/fingernail polish.
9) 8:46 PM I was unaware of Steve Martin’s mad banjo skills and debatable song writing skills.
10) 9:00 PM Kris wins. No surprise there. And I feel just a little bit sorry for Adam.

** ALSO, case in point about Arkansans, I just heard that 38 MILLION of the 100 MILLION votes came from Arkansas. WOO PIG SOOIE!

Arkansans Unite

2009-05-20T10:01:00.001-06:00

I know you don’t want to talk about American Idol, but I do. And it’s my blog so I get to decide what we’re going to discuss. I really think Kris might’ve pulled out the win. Logically, it seems like most of Gokey’s fans would have shifted their support to Kris. Additionally, as I’ve explained to many of my friends from various places around the country, Arkansans will go to great lengths to obtain any positive attention from the national media. We will use any means necessary, even if it means dialing until our fingers fall off. We don’t get much glory.

*On a bit of a tangent, if you’re not from my great state, you should visit sometime. It’s a beautiful place filled with wonderful, kind people. Stop stereotyping us based on the eye-witness account of the tornado you saw on Fox News, please. Thank you and that is all.*

Back to Idol. I couldn’t even get a vote in for Kris, despite numerous attempts. I’m sure the same would’ve been the case for Adam, but I didn’t try because even if Adam is the better vocalist, my loyalty to Arkansas cannot be shaken. Just like my loyalty to country music, Cheer laundry detergent, Philadelphia cream cheese, and a number of other products that I’m sure I’m loyal to but just can’t think of right now.

Next, I would like someone to congratulate me on walking right past The Cheesecake Factory AND The Grande Lux Café yesterday in a Denver mall on my lunch hour. They are two of my favorite restaurants in Denver and a rare treat. My stomach was growling and I could hear it saying “Vanilla Bean Cheesecake,” but I rebuked it. After I finished my shopping, I proceeded to my car and ate my delicious turkey sandwich from home. It was satisfying to my tummy, my flabby arms, and my wallet considering that their cheesecake is like seventy dollars a slice.

Finally, it is my understanding that I am at least a decade behind “The Hiding Place” craze. I’m not sure why I didn’t read it early in my adolescence like everyone else in my generation apparently did. However, I finished it last weekend and cried like a little girl. Now I need another meaningful book to read, so give me some suggestions of books you read as a child that I missed out on because I was too busy reading Nancy Drew.

Fruit Loops, Golden Grahams, and Captain Crunch...Oh My!

2009-05-18T08:41:00.007-06:00

Did everyone have a good weekend? I certainly did. I mean it goes without saying that the very fact that it was a weekend made it infinitely better than the previous five days. But I just thought I'd say it anyway.

I had the opportunity to go line dancing at a new country joint in town. I do love to boot-scoot, so that was a treat. I also hosted a cereal party at my house last night. We thought it would be fun for everyone to bring their favorite cereal from their childhood and reminisce about Saturdays spent watching cartoons and looking for the prize in the cereal box. Cereal prizes, unlike Cracker Jack prizes, have really gotten much more valuable over the years. We found a flashing Star Trek badge, a $5 coupon for something I can't remember, and the Lord of the Rings Extended Edition Trilogy. Okay, that last one is a lie but the prizes were sounding kind of lame when I listed them out like that.

Anyway, it was lots of fun to eat cereal I haven't had in at least 15 years, but it brought up some interesting questions and thoughts. Firstly, we had THREE boxes of Peanut Butter Crunch. I was one supplier of this tasty treat but I bought it specifically because I thought it was a little obscure and no one else would bring it. Not so, my friends. Apparently there are loads of closet PB Crunch fans out there. Who knew?

Second, no one brought Lucky Charms. Can you believe that? I thought for sure that would be a popular choice.

And why couldn't I find Honeycombs anywhere? Have they stopped producing these delightful combs of goodness? I had to settle for Corn Pops instead, which no one ate because apparently PB Crunch is our particular brand of heroine.

Here's the loot. We also had some crepes and such.

Here are my friends enjoying their treats in individualized bowls.
Here we are playing a fierce game of Catch Phrase:
Remember Steve, our Easter Bunny? Well here he is below with his FIANCE Ginna. They got engaged this weekend and this is my sad attempt at a cake congratulating them on their impending marriage. Don't they look blissfully happy?
So that's pretty much what I did this weekend. What did you do?

The Climb

2009-05-15T12:17:00.008-06:00

I've been inspired of late to do some walking at a rapid pace. Well, rapid for me. And I've even thrown some jogging in there every now and then. As previously mentioned, I am on a Self Improvement Plan (commonly referred to as the SIP), and as part of the SIP I am working out 5 days/week with my friend Alecia. Accountability, it turns out, has been really good for me. I think there's some mention of that in the Bible...

Anyway, yesterday we climbed this:

It's called Pulpit Rock and it's a pretty easy hike. We usually do this particular hike once a week. We're building up to something a little harder.

Something like this:

This is The Incline. The bane of my existence. The most difficult hike I've ever done. It's about a mile long and straight up, as you can see here. Last time I did it, it took me approximately half a century to reach the top. All manner of men, women, children, and four-legged creatures passed me on the way up. It was slightly humiliating. However, as part of the SIP, I am committed to try again and produce significantly better results this time. If only I could breathe at 6,000-plus feet while doing anything other than sleeping, it would be terrific.

We're doing The Incline in order to eventually climb this old thing:

You might've heard of it. It's called Pikes Peak. Please excuse the crudely drawn trail, it was the only illustration I could find that showed the path up the mountain. I've lived here for almost 5 years and I've never climbed it. I think it's time to attempt the 13 mile journey up to 14000 feet. I normally wouldn't admit that I'm trying to do something like this but I figure if I post my goals here I'll be more likely to feel pressure to actually do it.

Like Miley Cyrus in her 16 year old wisdom says: It's all about the climb.

The SIP is so much more than just a physical activity plan, though. We've got all kinds of goals like...um, uh...being nicer to people and stuff like that. One of my personal goals is to read more non-fiction to renew my mind a bit. I'm currently reading this:

If I'm the last person in America to read this book, please don't tell me. I'd like to believe that this endorsement is worthwhile. I've only read about 1/4 of it, but Corrie ten Boom's story has already made an impact on me. Her faith was amazing. Sometimes I get nervous when I read about people who go all-out and devote themselves to Christ without looking back. I get nervous because I know it's what we're all called to do, but I also know how weak and human I am.

I'm pretty sure the SIP will result in some prompting to do bigger and better things...but that remains to be seen. For now, I'll just keep reminding myself that "It ain't about how fast I get there. It ain't about what's waiting on the other side...It's the climb." Thank you, Miley.

Gotta Obey the Tag

2009-05-13T10:13:00.003-06:00

My friend Abby tagged me and I just can't resist a good tagging, so here goes:

8 things I did yesterday:
1. Went to a home visit where the family had no less than 38 exotic stuffed creatures adorning the walls of their home. Including a full-on mountain lion cascading down their mantle. Somehow they managed to make it classy.
2. Had a child at one of my home visits offer me an “ice cream cone for the road.”
3. Spent 17 minutes trying to decline the ice cream cone and all other food offerings from a three year old and her oddly supportive grandmother. I mean, I don’t think I look like I need to be fed, really.
4. Had a child at one of my home visits ask me if she could come over to my house sometime. Ummm…no. I’d like to keep my job.
5. Watched American Idol with Matthew and subsequently voted 937 times for Kris and Danny.
6. Concluded that I’m sort of a loser.
7. Decided to embrace the fact that I’m sort of a loser.
8. Allowed my clean jeans to remain in the dryer for yet another day. Just remembered that. Oops. Sorry Kristy and Maria.

8 things I am looking forward to:
1. Aly’s birthday party tonight!
2. Lunch with my friend Holly today.
3. Lauren’s wedding next week.
4. Carrie’s visit next week.
5. A trip to OKC in two weeks.
6. Keith Urban concert in July.
7. My 10 year reunion in July. Eesh.
8. The ½ marathon in Hawaii in September.***

8 television shows I watch:
I really only watch 1) American Idol and 2) The Office without fail. But other shows that I love to catch as catch can (that’s for you Ashley!) or Hulu are:
3) My Boys
4) The Big Bang Theory
5) Chuck
6) The Real Housewives of wherever…Oh, man! I missed the NY reunion show last night. Darn!
7) Top Chef
8) Samantha Who?

***There is a very remote (and I mean extremely remote) chance that I will be signing on for this in September. We shall see.

The Bird Chronicles Vol.9

2009-05-07T11:11:00.004-06:00

It's been a while since I regaled you with a bird tale. It's not that I don't have any to share, it's just that I'm perceptive enough to know that not everyone finds my winged tales as funny as I do.

If you fall into that grouping of readers, then click on by because you're not going to want to read the following.

This week I was accosted by what I'm referring to as an "Attack Pigeon." Apparently this family, who I've had to visit twice this week, allows a pigeon to live under the eve of their home and attack any visitor trying to gain access to their front door. There's only one way to the door and it's through the pigeon. I'm sure I could make a spiritual reference out of that, but now is not the time.

On Tuesday I sauntered up to the door in ignorance completely unprepared for the impending attack. As a result, the family I was visiting experienced the full range of my vocal capabilities and had to ask me not to use that kind of language in front of their children. Today, though, I was primed and ready for the assault. And by primed and ready I mean I walked, with great trepidation, to a spot approximately 15 feet from the porch and stared at the pigeon until it flew away. I had many, many contingency plans in place in case his course veered anywhere near me or he was feeling a bit rancorous. Contingency plans that basically consisted of the following: a) run behind that fence b) run behind that trashcan c) run to your car...so on and so forth. It's a good thing I've been practicing my running or those contingency plans would have just been silly.

But I'm pleased to report that the stare down worked. Mostly likely because he saw me eyeing a rock to throw at him. I then hastened to the door and knocked as quickly as possible.

And of course they were not home.

Which means I'll have to go back again and waste at least another thousand or so precious heartbeats that, quite frankly, I'm not sure I can spare. I've been wasting so many with all the running and such already.

You'd think they could at least post a "Beware of Pigeon" sign. It's just a common courtesy.

No Time! There's Never Any Time!

2009-05-06T10:45:00.005-06:00

Name that 90's TV show. I'll give you a prize if you can finish the rest of the monologue.***

Okay, here's a rundown of what's been going on in my life since last Thursday. Friday night I went to Shane & Shane's "Turn Down the Music" tour. It was amazing. If you have an opportunity to catch one of the shows on this tour, do it. They are in California this week and then Arizona to finish off the tour.

I will quickly tell you that I have been trying to write a post about how grateful I should be every single day for all of the blessings in my life. It's one of those themes again. And the Lord is very serious about making sure I "get" it when He's trying to tie a theme together in a nice little package. This concert was Stop #37 on the "Micah Needs to Learn Some Gratitude" Tour. And this particular stop had quite an impact.

I am so blessed. And I don't say that flippantly. I mean it with all my heart. And I should get down on my knees every single day and thank God for all of the amazing blessings He's showered me with. But that's not the only thing I should do with my gratitude. If I really understood how incredibly undeserved these blessings are, I think it would completely change my behavior. I would probably devote myself to something more than myself.

David Nassar shared a statistic with us when he was speaking during the concert. He stated that if 6% of the church would commit to adopting an orphan, there would not be a single child in any orphanage anywhere around the world! I shake my head at that and wonder why aren't the people who can do something about this doing anything? See, I have a heart for adoption and truly want to adopt a child someday, but I'm single and poor and live with two other girls and a strange dog. So I have an excuse. But really, I don't. My excuses were shattered on Friday night when I really began to think about how much I could be doing, but don't because I'm "too busy" (with what?) or "too immature" or "need to get things in order first."

Now don't panic MeeMaw, I'm not running out to adopt an orphan. Not yet anyway. But I am praying through how I can become part of the solution, rather than a big fat part of the problem. I think I'll write more about this later, but right now I'm still processing through all my thoughts.

Monday was the infamous "Jury Duty" and of course I didn't even get called onto a panel. They chose 5 panels of 35 people and I still didn't get to go. Every single person in that room was praying that their name would not be called each time that Jury Commissioner stepped up to the mic and I was the only one praying that I would get questioned. What does a girl have to do show her civic pride?

There was a guy called to serve who had a name eerily similar to mine. Same first name and very similar sounding last name. So I got all excited when they called his name, thinking they had just botched mine (like everyone does). Instead, a twenty-something male stood up and took his spot among the "chosen ones."

Maybe next time.

***No I won't.

Doubly Horrific

2009-04-30T16:52:00.006-06:00

Okay, does anyone else find this picture as humorous as I do?

Please don't mistake me for a heartless person, because what happened in the Netherlands today is truly tragic. However, I almost could not read about it for being distracted by this photo, which accompanied the article (I've done some cropping to protect the innocent). I mean c'mon people, first this man (er, Prince?) is horrified by the events of the day and then he has to see this image splashed across the world-wide web. I wonder what kind of face he made when he saw this photograph...I'm just sayin', wouldn't it have been a bit more sensitive to crop this guy out of the pic and just let Princess Maxima convey the Royal family's dismay?

I feel for this guy (er, His Highness?). Who among us has not seen a photograph of ourselves on Facebook that we immediately de-tagged because of the embarrassing nature of our facial expression and/or position of our eyelids? I am certain that if MSN had a de-tagging feature, this man (um, Crowned Head?) would immediately utilize the properties of said feature.

And for caution's sake, I Googled him to make sure he doesn't have some "ailment" that I'm not aware of. He does not. He looks perfectly normal when his fingers are not jammed in his mouth like that.

New information is streaming in about this particular photo (because I've been looking it up) and I have it on good authority that there are numerous videos out there documenting the incident and a still frame from any one of them could have provided the same dramatic effect with infinitely less humiliation on this man's (er, Majesty's?) part.

That is all. Please direct your hate mail regarding my insensitivity elsewhere. Thank you.

It's a Scarf, Sir!

2009-04-28T10:20:00.005-06:00

I know you’ve been waiting with bated breath to hear about my weekend. Well let me tell you, it was an eventful one. I spent the majority of the weekend trying to pinpoint the precise moment when I will contract the swine flu. Conclusion: really soon. It’s already in Kansas. It’s just a matter of time before it crosses the border. I know you’re thinking “Oh, she’s one of those.” And you’re right. I am.

However, I did manage to squeeze some fun in between all the nail-biting and checking of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention website for official reports. We made it to the Lady A concert Friday night and I’m happy to report that no one attempted to steal my purse throughout the day, so we had tickets! Given the security measures that the Grizzly Rose employs, though, I think I could’ve written “Admit 1” on a piece of paper and we still would have made it in. A couple of things happened at the concert: 1) I was informed by an extremely inebriated man that he liked my “tie.” I’m going to go ahead and assume that his drunken state left him unable to distinguish between a tie and a scarf because I seriously hope it didn’t look like I was sporting a neck tie. 2) It was standing room only at this particular venue and Alecia almost got into a throw-down for asking a young lady in front of us to rein in her dancing. It was touch and go for a moment. 3) They had some plumbing issues throughout the evening (as in none of their toilets would flush), but luckily we went to the restroom long before the concert ever started, so I feel that we dodged a major bullet.

I also discovered that I evidently trimmed off some of my eyelashes while cutting my bangs last week. Because I clearly need another reason for people to think there’s something a little “off” about me.

And in the interest of full disclosure, I will tell you that I went to see “Fighting” this weekend. And because I claim to be an honest person, I will also tell you that I really liked it. Would I have liked it as much if Channing Tatum had not been playing the lead role? Probably not. However, Terrence Howard delivers a hilarious (this could have been unintentional) performance. And for some reason I really like to see people punch one another (Disclaimer: this only applies to films. I don’t like boxing or UFC so please don’t invite me to the “fight.” Thank you.).

Finally, the Softballers concluded their season last night with a 7-1 record! I am pleased to report that I was awarded the honor of being MVF (Most Valuable Fan), which is something I made up and they humored me by going along with it. I was given a t-shirt and a high-five for my efforts. All appreciated. Good Job Softballers!

How was your weekend?

Frivolous Friday

2009-04-24T12:40:00.004-06:00

I'm feeling frivolous today. And invincible as always. I don't have any way to tie this post together, so I will list some unpremeditated (it is actually a word. Who on earth knew? Don't answer that Matthew John.) thoughts for you now:

1) I cut my bangs this morning on a whim. Think Kate Hudson in Bride Wars. Or, don't if you're a guy. Although I'm sure if you're a guy, you could not care less about my bangs.

2) I'm currently involved in a SIP (Self Improvement Plan) which has helped me remember how much I love fruit. Incidentally, it has also helped me get over my disdain for people who shop at Whole Foods. I need their peanut butter to help me improve my life. Oh, and their pineapple. And, apparently, some weird whole wheat fruit bar Fig Newton-y thing.

3) I'm also trying to be a "scarf girl." I eschewed the fashion trend all through the winter because I just didn't feel I could "pull it off." However, I think the summer scarf is more suitable for my style. So I bought this black and white striped scarf at Tar-jay and can only seem to work up the nerve to wear it on Fridays. Weird. Thus, I have dubbed it my fun Friday fashion. Just now. That's what I just now dubbed it. I don't wear it with a tank-top like this young lady, though. And I'm pretty sure I never stand like that. Let's hope not, anyway.

4) I'm going to see a country act called "Lady Antebellum" tonight at a place in Denver. The concert was originally scheduled for January 21 of this year, but they bailed for a spot on The Tonight Show. Because of this, I've been carrying the tickets around in my purse for approximately four months. And with my luck, I just know today is the day I will be mugged by some low-life purse snatcher. I've been avoiding sidewalks and public places today for this very reason.

Have a wonderful weekend!

Adult-itis.

2009-04-21T11:31:00.003-06:00

It is an absolutely gorgeous Tuesday in the Pikes Peak region. It is sunny and warm and amazing. You would never know that I got to go home early from work on Friday because of “The World’s Worst Blizzard.” I think meteorologists just like to incite panic. It makes them feel powerful. It actually wasn’t too bad, but I’m sure glad I have new tires on my Jeep, or I would have been in the median with a lot of other poor souls. Bald tires and spring* snowstorms don’t mix.

Because we’ve been enjoying lovely weather, I’ve been inspired to get outside a bit. On Sunday, my friend Alecia and I decided to have lunch in Manitou Springs and walk around in their downtown area. I think I’d like to sum up Manitou with pictures, rather than words. I’m sure you’ll get the gist. This young lady is an aspiring street performer and was trying out to perform in Manitou. Who knew that Manitou will not allow people to perform willy-nilly on any corner they choose? Apparently they’re all about rules and order when it comes to street performances. I just wish they’d employ the same philosophy regarding grooming and hygiene, the use of illegal substances, and casting spells on random passersby. I’d certainly be willing to visit more regularly.

See how I did that? Now you know all about Manitou without me having to tell you about the witches and hippies.

I also got outside last night for a bit and watched the Softballers play a double-header. They now have a 5-1 record. I’m telling you, they are on a roll. I’m also pleased to report that the temperature was in the sixties, so I will not be losing any appendages as a result of watching their games this week.

And finally…drum-roll, please…

I am officially an adult. I know I’ve technically been an adult for quite some time, but it just didn’t feel real until last week when I opened the mailbox and pulled out my first jury summons. Obviously, in keeping with the opinions you’ve probably already formed about me, I cannot wait to participate in our judicial process! It’s probably a civil case, rather than criminal and I’m pretty sure that I’ll immediately be dismissed because of the nature of my job. However, I’m hoping I get to appear at the very least. I’ll be so sad if I call the number and they tell me I’m not needed. Please, I hear that enough already.

I tried to take an anonymous picture of the summons, but I couldn’t get it to upload. Probably best. I’m not up on my rules for posting pictures of your jury summons and I sure wouldn’t want Big Brother to have to arrest me or silence me. I think you know what I mean.

I think that's all for today. I'd love to hear about your jury duty and/or street performer experiences!

*Tangent rant: It bothers me that seasons are not capitalized unless personified.

Spring Has Sprung!

2009-04-20T12:14:00.010-06:00

My family has a lot of funny traditions. One tradition is that my dad usually recites this little diddy for us on or around Easter: “Spring has sprung and the grass is riz, look how pretty the flowers is.” Cracks me up every time. I think it’s the simplicity of the rhyme coupled with the ridiculous grammar. Always a good time.

I decided to take some photographic evidence for Spring being “sprung” here in Colorado. Last Sunday, we had Easter dinner at my friend Denise’s house. Here are some pictures I took on the way.

Ahhh....lovely. And yes, mom, of course I stopped the car to take the pictures. I would never try to drive on treacherous, ice-covered roads while operating my iPod, taking a picture with my camera, and talking on the phone. Ignore the fact that I appear to be whizzing by that street lamp at 65 miles an hour. Ignore it.

Despite having to hold our egg hunt indoors, we had a lovely time.

Our friend Steve volunteered to wear the bunny costume this year. That's his girlfriend, Ginna, lovingly supporting him. She's a saint. Please note that we informed Steve that he did not actually need to wear the bunny costume during lunch, but he chose to anyway. He's a special friend.
My friend Matthew found the “Golden” ticket, which was actually just a piece of foil. Because he knows how competitive I am and how much I love Hannah Montana and how I almost pushed Steve down the stairs trying to find the prize-winning egg, he split his treasures with me. You know, so that I wouldn’t cry myself to sleep on a holiday.

Matthew will likely kill me for putting that picture up. Sorry, man. Gotta give the people what they want.

Please note that although my friends and I appear to be somewhat immature in the preceding photos, I would appreciate it if you would give me some credit for preparing a turkey on my own and making the rolls from scratch. From scratch people. That should at least cancel out the bunny costume, right? No? Well, fine. At least we had fun.

Anyway, I'm now also posting sad little updates about my life on Twitter if you want to follow me. My Twitter name is MicahMichelleC.

That's all for today. I have to ration my tidbits so that I'll have something else to write about this week. Look forward to an enthralling update tomorrow!

Good Friday

2009-04-10T10:50:00.006-06:00

On Wednesday night my friend Denise hosted a Seder dinner at her house for Passover. Denise likes to learn about the historical and cultural context in which the Bible was written and she likes to pretend she’s Jewish (Messianic, of course), so she researched the Seder and has been hosting each year since 2006. A Seder is a communal meal held on the first night of Passover, set aside to remember God’s faithfulness in bringing his people out of Egypt.

I’m always amazed at how I’m affected every year by the readings we use in the Seder. We use a Haggadah (the guide used to go through the different rituals and retelling of the events of the Exodus) that is written from a Christian point-of-view. It is such a neat tradition because it gives Christians an opportunity to see God’s redemption plan through His history with the Israelites. I think it’s important for me, as a Christian, to understand the events of the Old Testament so that I can better understand what happened in the New Testament.

It has also given more meaning to The Lord’s Supper for me. The Last Supper was a Passover meal, something that I have skimmed right over in the past because I didn’t understand all of the historical context for the Jewish festivals. Christ chose to share his last Passover meal with his disciples. Matthew 26:17-30 recounts the story, as do the other three gospels. Christ and His disciples went through the same rituals we did, on the very night He was betrayed. He took the traditional rituals further and when the disciples ate the unleavened bread and drank the last cup, He gave additional meaning to their tradition.

The deliverance they had been waiting for was going to be fulfilled in their immediate future. Christ broke away from tradition, refusing the last cup and stating that He would not drink of the fruit of the vine until He drank with them in His Father’s kingdom (Matthew 26:29). Through this, He commanded us to remember His sacrifice and to look to the future, for His second-coming. He bridged God’s commands to retell and remember the past with the New Covenant—He died for us and He will return for us, fulfilling all of His promises.

There is so much symbolism in the Passover, some that I don’t fully understand. But I do understand that Christ was the fulfillment of God’s covenant with His people. He poured out His life for them and for us. He is our deliverance. I am always moved by the end of the Seder because we anticipate the fulfillment of the New Covenant—Christ’s return to this Earth. It ends with everyone saying “Next year in the New Jerusalem.” That is so meaningful to the believer who has placed his faith in Christ’s promises. He will return for us and rebuild Jerusalem. As I reflect on His death today, I also look forward to His return. I pray that you will too.

"Praise and glory and wisdom and thanks and honor and power and strength be to our God forever and ever." Revelation 7:12

Happy Birthday, Mom & Heather!

2009-04-08T08:25:00.009-06:00

Today is a special day. My mom and my sister were born on this very day (several years apart, as you probably guessed). It is also a VERY special birthday for my mama, but I won't say which one. I don't want the wrath of Mindy to come down on me.

My mom is a great person. If you don't know her, you should. She's a very patient, loving person. She's always serving other people and wants to make sure everyone has what they need. She is also a wonderful cook and entertainer (not the stage variety, the hostess variety). My mom has been a constant source of support and encouragement in my life and I thank God for the blessing she is to me! I love you, Mom! Have a wonderful "__th" Birthday!

Now, for Heather. What can I say about her? Heather is usually the happiest person in a room. She is fun-loving and light-hearted. She is always trying to make people laugh and usually succeeds. I am blessed to have such a wonderful little sister. Happy Birthday, Heather!

In some non-birthday related news, I'm probably going to need all five toes on my right foot amputated. Since I'm such a caring, generous friend, I spent approximately 4 hours watching my peeps play softball on Monday night where the average temperature on the softball field was negative thirty-seven degrees. My toes still haven't recovered. The good news is that they won BOTH games, which has never happened in the history of these people playing softball. I think the weak hollers from my frozen lungs probably pushed them through to victory. That, or the other teams had started to experience the beginning stages of hypothermia, whereas our team was dressed in more Arctic-appropriate attire. Regardless, I'd like to offer a big congratulations to the Softballers! Please don't expect me to come to any more of your games.

Random Ramblings

2009-04-02T15:55:00.006-06:00

Today’s post should be entitled “A list of random factoids and commentary from Micah because she can’t think of any way to tie all of the subjects together.”

1) I watched “Shooter” for the first time with my roommates Tuesday night. It was ossum…with an oh-ess-ess. You should not watch this movie if you are opposed to any of the following: justice being served vigilante-style, people being separated from their limbs, Marky Mark with a mullet. You should watch this movie if you fall into any of these categories: you don’t mind a teensy-weensy bit of blood, you are awesome, you think Marky Mark is attractive with any hairstyle.

2) This morning I had a dream that I woke up and went through my entire morning routine. It was surreal. When I actually did wake up, the clock read 7:36 am. In my dream, it was 7:41 am. So, it’s kind of like I got five minutes of my life back. Pretty cool. And yes, I was still late to work. But only because there were garage door-related issues and also because I woke up at 7:36 am.

3) My Paw Paw and I were watching some television last week and we saw an advertisement for this:

The Shoe Skirt. I am perplexed by the Shoe Skirt. It's a dust ruffle-type thing that holds your shoes. It definitely seems easier to place my shoes in a closet shoe organizer rather than getting down on my knees, lifting the bed skirt, discovering that the shoes I want are actually on the other side of the bed, standing up, walking to the other side of the bed, getting down on my knees, lifting the bed skirt…I think you see where I’m going with this. You’re intelligent people. I’ll spare you the rest of the monologue running through my mind.

But can I also just say that it cracks me up how all the women on these shoe organizing commercials either keep their shoes a) in the original shoebox or b) in a giant pile on the floor of their closet. Really, who does that? If you do, then the Shoe Skirt might just be the solution to all your issues associated with the organization of your shoes. And possibly many of your other problems, too. Who knows?

*Mee Maw, if you still keep your shoes in the original box, my apologies.

4) Umm…did any of you see Lady GaGa on American Idol last night? Lady GaGa, if that’s your “poker face,” then I don’t think any of us want to see it. Please spare us from all other facial expressions you might have in your repertoire.

5) I made The Pioneer Woman’s lasagna recipe last week and I have to tell you, it was so good! If you don’t know the PW, you should. She is a fantastic writer and has the best recipes. The secret with this one is Jimmy Dean sausage. You had probably already guessed that, though. I mean, all good things start with Jimmy Dean sausage…sausage balls…sausage biscuits…sausage gravy…um, sausage lasagna…er, yeah.

6) It is with great sorrow that I announce the passing of Happy Thursday. After 2.5 years of merriment and fun-having on the eve of Invincible Friday, I’m officially declaring it dead. People get busy, they move on, they realize they are tired of being my friend after 2.5 years. Sure I’m sometimes a little too loud. And I know that my blog posts seem unending at times. And there’s the whole “Christmas Nazi” thing. But can’t a girl get some love on a Thursday? They’ll come back. Surely they will.

Tribute Tuesday

2009-03-31T15:45:00.002-06:00

I like alliteration. Always have. It’s my favorite poetic device of all the poetic devices, which is why I’ve entitled this post “Tribute Tuesday” and not “Shout-Out Tuesday.” Because there is no alliteration in “Shout-Out Tuesday.” There may be some assonance, though. I never really got that one.

Today, I would like to pay tribute to the U. S. postal worker who got me in and out of the downtown post office with efficiency, haste, and my dignity intact this afternoon. You might recall that last month, my appraisal of the post office and its workers was not so kind. But this man, this John Q. Postal Man, has restored my faith in the United States Postal System for at least one month. Until I have to go back and face Gollum. But I hear the postal service isn’t going to be around much longer than that anyhow. I’ll probably have to Pony Express my rent over to my landlord next month. Because if the postal system goes, it all goes, I’m sure.

I am back in Colorado now, after a wonderful Spring Break. One of my readers mentioned that his feelings were hurt because I didn’t mention him in my Spring Break highlights in the last post-- highlights that consisted of a sno-cone and a giant potato chip. So, not highlights, really. Regardless, I thought I’d mention a few of the other bright spots from my week—

1. Eating at George’s (best hamburger ever) with Trey P. Trey, you are the child’s spaghetti plate to my double cheeseburger.
2. Getting to see Trey at church on Sunday morning, monitoring the halls. What a deacon!
3. Being in the same town as Trey for an entire week.
4. Seeing Brandon Heath and Third Day with my mama. Trey was not there, but I looked for him.

What’s your favorite memory of Trey??

Parties and Pedis

2009-03-26T13:06:00.015-06:00

It was my friend Alecia's birthday last week and we had a party for her at my house. We celebrated her birthday by giving her a football field worth of licorice and some questionable Twilight garb (it's a book/movie about vampires...it just sounded too unsavory not to explain). And to answer your question: yes, we're a little strange and possibly immature.

Pictured above: Giant tube of licorice.
Pictured above: Cheesy Twilight tote bag

I'm in Arkansas this week visiting my family because I get a Spring Break with my job. It goes along with the immaturity. My family likes for me to visit them when I get a break, so I paid the $9578 to fly in to the Fort Smith airport to see them. I'm not sure the cost/benefit ratio is paying off for either party. Especially because my grandmother- MeeMaw- forced me to give her a pedicure this morning while I was visiting her.

Here she is, pre-pedi. I know it doesn't look like she'd resort to the use of deadly force to get what she wants, but you'll just have to take my word for it.

And for good measure, this is my PawPaw and Heather:

On the benefit side of things our sno-cone stop, Snow-To-Go, recently opened for the humid season and I was able to get a 1/2 Wild Cherry, 1/2 Dreamsicle sno-cone this week. Trust me, if you've never had a sno-cone from Snow-To-Go, you've never had a sno-cone.
And I also found the largest potato chip known to man while home this week. It is pictured below by a deck of cards. I challenge you to find a larger potato chip, whole and unadulterated. So I guess when you think about it, it really was worth the $9578 it costs to fly here.

Flight of the Felix

2009-03-19T08:59:00.010-06:00

* Update: Sorry if you already read this, I thought of a better title!

You'll never guess what I saw when I walked into my home visit yesterday.

This...

...which was all well and good because this giant embodiment of all my fears was caged. And, being the bird aficionado that I am, I knew her wings were clipped. So I kept it together.

Until I heard there were FOUR birds in the house, along with a variety of reptiles (but those are beside the point).

My inner turmoil quickly became outer turmoil when the owner decided to grab "The Embodiment of All My Fears Part Deux," or "Felix" as he's known to the family, out of his cage and hold him, caress him, and let him do this...

...approximately seven inches from my face.

This is roughly the point where my professionalism gave way to my phobia and I politely told the family that their "pet" had just elicited the "fight or flight" response of my Peripheral Nervous System and I would be utilizing the "flight" portion of that particular physiological response unless they put that thing back in its cage immediately.

I believe I said "It's me or the bird."

My question is, do these things happen to other people? Sheesh!

Settlers of Ca-tahn, So I'm Told

2009-03-16T16:55:00.003-06:00

Have y’all ever played this crazy game? Honestly, the box cover in and of itself was enough to make me never want to play it. Ever. I don’t know about you, but a scythe-wielding maiden sitting on the side of ye old dirt road with her evidently homeless family in fashion that can only be described as “dated” does not invoke the idea of good times and camaraderie shared around the hearth.

But…several of my friends, many who have moderately good taste, told me it was a lot of fun, so I gave it a chance last night. The aforementioned friends were right. I had a delightful time playing this game in spite of the slightly disturbing box cover. It’s a game of strateeegery and you definitely have to outthink your opponents.

I generally like games of luck because I’m sort of a teensy weensy itty bitty bit competitive and when dumb luck is involved I can blame my failures on misfortune, rather than lack of skill. This game, however, makes me face all of my neuroses head-on and provides me with the opportunity to regret every single decision I make countless times. Obviously I did not win. Don’t judge me, I’m still learning. Additionally, my partner was pretty weak sauce and didn’t really know what she was doing.

But I have vowed to win this game on my next attempt. And I’m so committed to winning, that I’ve spent a good portion of this day—the day the Lord has made—on the GoogleInterwebs seeking out people who spend their lives discussing strategy about a game that most people with any interest in maintaining a modicum of pride would never admit to playing.

While researching, I found out that my dream of winning will never be realized because a) I’m not even smart enough to comprehend the strategies these folks thought up, much less employ said strategies b) I’m not willing to commit one more second of my time to figuring out how to beat people at a game that wants me to pretend I live in a time period that predates the invention of Oatmeal Crème Pies. Nothing good happened before OCPs c) I would have to commit to being a board game nerd in order to win, and I just don’t want to win that badly. Except I do.

If you have a strategy that I can understand, please help me. I have to win!