Today I Discovered...

Pin It Now! Today I discovered that I've been drinking my water through a moldy straw. It's one of those plastic ones that you can put through the dishwasher. Unfortunately, the dishwasher apparently didn't take care of the black mold in my straw and I feel the need to go use some mouthwash or possibly 100 proof alcohol to try to eradicate the mold that is clearly going to kill me immediately.

Today I discovered that when I can't sleep at 5 am and I'm the only one home and I accidentally leave the blinds open about six inches, my default reaction is to assume that some sprightly creeper has climbed up to my window to peek in at me while I sleep. I kept imagining a face, not unlike Mr. Tumnus of Narnia fame, pressing itself to my glass and watching me while I tried to go back to sleep. I've always had a vivid imagination.

Today I discovered that the drive-thru attendant at Starbucks who consistently asks me if I'm actually "Micah," does not, indeed, think me guilty of identity theft. Rather, he simply wants to call me by my name when he hands me my latte and is skeptical of the fact that a female could be named Micah. I assured him that it's possible. I don't think he'll be asking again.

Today I discovered that my road rage has reached an all-time high. I came to the conclusion this morning, as I was yelling at every solitary car that I passed, that I relieve stress by screaming at people who can't scream back at me. I'm not entirely sure that this is a healthy practice. But wouldn't you rather I bark at strangers who can't hear me? I think so.

Today I discovered that the manicure I got LAST NIGHT is entirely ruined. I guess I'd be more upset if I hadn't accidentally chosen a color that is best described as caution cone orange. I knew as soon as Nancy started painting that first nail that I had made an egregious error but they already put up with such bad nail behavior from me that I couldn't very well ask her to stop and let me pick a color that wouldn't blind small children, now could I?

Today I discovered that when I pop my neck, as I frequently do, I become slightly dizzy for 5-10 seconds after said poppage has occurred. I'm not willing to investigate this any further.

Today I discovered that my closet will not magically expand for the new spring wardrobe I recently purchased. I believe I tore a rotator cuff trying to force a sweater in there.

They say you learn something new every day. I'm thrilled to be able to share my brief moments of enlightenment from April 20, 2011 with you today.