And Then I Bought It…
There’s not much going on in my life this week to report, so I have been trying to think of funny stories from my past to share with you. And yesterday in church, it came to me. Our pastor somehow got off on a tangent about buying things from infomercials; exercise equipment, to be precise. His tangent conjured up horrifying images of the one and only time I’ve ever purchased anything from an infomercial.
The Urban Rebounder.
Before I tell you what that is, let me set the scene for you. Journey with me to the year 2005, where I am twenty-three years old. I have recently made the move from Arkansas to Colorado and have entered the working world where I make approximately seven cents an hour.
My roommate and I own exactly two things: a lamp that I proudly purchased from Wal-Mart to light our apartment (overhead lighting not included) and a variety of sconces, also purchased from Wal-Mart. We literally come home from work each evening and enjoy some penne pasta topped with either marinara from a jar or alfredo from a jar, depending on how fancy we feel that day. We cannot afford to heat our apartment and our guests often complain that they can’t feel their toes.
Despite this, one fateful morning in May of 2005, I decided it would be a good idea to spend the equivalent of three months of groceries on a MINI TRAMPOLINE. You heard me correctly. The Urban Rebounder is, by all accounts, a not-so-cleverly-named miniature trampoline complete with stabilizing bar (for the uncoordinated), carrying case (for the shameless), and instructional DVDs.
To this day, I have no explanation for what came over me as I sat on our blue plaid couch eating a bowl of wheat puffies watching the infomercial for the UR. All I know is that in that moment, the Urban Rebounder was the answer to all of my problems. So I called the toll-free number and enthusiastically asked the operator to “sign me up.” And as of this moment, it has never been used for its intended purpose. Because no one wants to pull out a two-hundred pound trampoline and unfold it every time they want to work out. No matter how good it is for your knees.
I am pleased to report that I’ve never bought anything from an infomercial since and hope to never buy anything from an infomercial again. But I make no promises that whatever crazy came over me that snowy day in 2005 won’t ever come over me again. That’s all part of the adventure, I guess.
The Urban Rebounder.
Before I tell you what that is, let me set the scene for you. Journey with me to the year 2005, where I am twenty-three years old. I have recently made the move from Arkansas to Colorado and have entered the working world where I make approximately seven cents an hour.
My roommate and I own exactly two things: a lamp that I proudly purchased from Wal-Mart to light our apartment (overhead lighting not included) and a variety of sconces, also purchased from Wal-Mart. We literally come home from work each evening and enjoy some penne pasta topped with either marinara from a jar or alfredo from a jar, depending on how fancy we feel that day. We cannot afford to heat our apartment and our guests often complain that they can’t feel their toes.
Despite this, one fateful morning in May of 2005, I decided it would be a good idea to spend the equivalent of three months of groceries on a MINI TRAMPOLINE. You heard me correctly. The Urban Rebounder is, by all accounts, a not-so-cleverly-named miniature trampoline complete with stabilizing bar (for the uncoordinated), carrying case (for the shameless), and instructional DVDs.
To this day, I have no explanation for what came over me as I sat on our blue plaid couch eating a bowl of wheat puffies watching the infomercial for the UR. All I know is that in that moment, the Urban Rebounder was the answer to all of my problems. So I called the toll-free number and enthusiastically asked the operator to “sign me up.” And as of this moment, it has never been used for its intended purpose. Because no one wants to pull out a two-hundred pound trampoline and unfold it every time they want to work out. No matter how good it is for your knees.
I am pleased to report that I’ve never bought anything from an infomercial since and hope to never buy anything from an infomercial again. But I make no promises that whatever crazy came over me that snowy day in 2005 won’t ever come over me again. That’s all part of the adventure, I guess.
I totally thought of the UR when Pastor Al was talking about infomercials yesterday! I think the stabilizing bar is what really makes it worth the money.
ReplyDeleteI should come here more often because you have such a way with words that you almost always make me smile and sometimes make me laugh right out loud ( as I did when I read this! )
ReplyDeleteThanks for taking time to write about life in such a way that we can identify and laugh about it!
Miss Jan, I consider the fact that you enjoy my blog to be one of the best compliments I've ever received. Thank you so much for reading!
ReplyDeleteDenise, I KNEW you were laughing at me internally!
I too greatly enjoy your blog. I bet you didn't even know I read it. Once again, I hope you're feeling better. You should ask Ginna about her memories of her mom in pink spandex working out on her rebounder. Good times.
ReplyDelete1. I remember my nose freezing when I stayed with you guys.
ReplyDelete2. You had the biggest bag of pasta ever!
3. Will you please use the handy-dnady carrying case someday?
That infomercial is still on I believe! No shame here...my husband purchased the "Ultimate Chopper" on an infomercial while we were in college. It literally did turn regular sugar into powdered sugar, but we never tried the ground-up concrete like it claimed. However, Mom dropped a vital piece of it down the garbage disposal in our rent house & then it was quite pointless. : ) There's my story... Wanna trade items? Ha!
ReplyDelete