Our 1st Anniversary

Jarred and I celebrated our first anniversary on September 23. We originally planned to go to LA for a Disneyland/Galaxy game extravaganza but Jarred's new job doesn't really give him any time off. Instead, we decided to head up to Denver to relax in a luxury hotel.

We stayed at The Brown Palace. We had a lovely street-view room and it was cozy and inviting. So cozy that I fell asleep at around 9:30. I was really tired from all the Dave and Buster-ing that we did earlier in the day. Beating your husband repeatedly at giant Connect Four gets exhausting.

That evening, before I fell asleep at an embarrassingly early hour, we ate a The Palace Arms restaurant in the hotel. It was touted as the best restaurant in Denver. I'd like to have a frank conversation with the persons responsible for said touting. While the company was beyond compare, the meal left something to be desired. I just don't find table side Caesar salad that impressive. No, I don't want to watch you grind up the anchovies that will comprise my Caesar dressing. I try to forget the fact that there are anchovies in Caesar dressing to begin with. Also, telling me that "it's so much fresher this way" does not sway my opinion on the matter. I have no problem with you making fresh dressing for my salad. I just prefer that you do it in the kitchen where my eyes don't have to SEE you mix a raw egg and some tiny fishes together for me to eat.

Now, don't get me wrong, I get upscale dining, I do. So when I ordered my southern-inspired scallops, I knew that the black-eyed peas, okra, dirty rice, and buttermilk fried sweetbreads that were listed on the menu would not be served in a heaping pile of side items like I'm used to  presented traditionally. I did not, however, expect that there would be a sum total of three, THREE, black-eyed peas on my plate along with six grains of rice. Now, raise your hand if you know what "buttermilk fried sweetbreads" are? If your hand is up, you are miles ahead of me. I assumed it was some beignet-type biscuit but there was a little niggle in my brain that said "haven't you seen this on Top Chef before?" Sweetbreads are the thymus gland of calves (and occasionally lambs). Imagine my surprise. Let's begin with the obvious: What in the name of food is a thymus gland and why would you batter it, fry it up, and name it after a delicious carb-based food?

It is the throat of a calf. Consider me educated.

Pretending to eat that four star food is the most stressed-out I have been or likely will ever be. Painful is what it was. And poor Jarred's certified Kobe beef "medium" steak looked like it had been tossed on a grill for six seconds before being slopped on his plate. But at least it wasn't an animal throat.

I'll say this, our first anniversary dinner made a lasting memory for both of us. It also reminded us that we are a little less Palace Arms and a little more Cracker Barrel and that's okay with me.