The Bird Chronicles Vol.9
It's been a while since I regaled you with a bird tale. It's not that I don't have any to share, it's just that I'm perceptive enough to know that not everyone finds my winged tales as funny as I do.
If you fall into that grouping of readers, then click on by because you're not going to want to read the following.
This week I was accosted by what I'm referring to as an "Attack Pigeon." Apparently this family, who I've had to visit twice this week, allows a pigeon to live under the eve of their home and attack any visitor trying to gain access to their front door. There's only one way to the door and it's through the pigeon. I'm sure I could make a spiritual reference out of that, but now is not the time.
On Tuesday I sauntered up to the door in ignorance completely unprepared for the impending attack. As a result, the family I was visiting experienced the full range of my vocal capabilities and had to ask me not to use that kind of language in front of their children. Today, though, I was primed and ready for the assault. And by primed and ready I mean I walked, with great trepidation, to a spot approximately 15 feet from the porch and stared at the pigeon until it flew away. I had many, many contingency plans in place in case his course veered anywhere near me or he was feeling a bit rancorous. Contingency plans that basically consisted of the following: a) run behind that fence b) run behind that trashcan c) run to your car...so on and so forth. It's a good thing I've been practicing my running or those contingency plans would have just been silly.
But I'm pleased to report that the stare down worked. Mostly likely because he saw me eyeing a rock to throw at him. I then hastened to the door and knocked as quickly as possible.
And of course they were not home.
Which means I'll have to go back again and waste at least another thousand or so precious heartbeats that, quite frankly, I'm not sure I can spare. I've been wasting so many with all the running and such already.
You'd think they could at least post a "Beware of Pigeon" sign. It's just a common courtesy.
If you fall into that grouping of readers, then click on by because you're not going to want to read the following.
This week I was accosted by what I'm referring to as an "Attack Pigeon." Apparently this family, who I've had to visit twice this week, allows a pigeon to live under the eve of their home and attack any visitor trying to gain access to their front door. There's only one way to the door and it's through the pigeon. I'm sure I could make a spiritual reference out of that, but now is not the time.
On Tuesday I sauntered up to the door in ignorance completely unprepared for the impending attack. As a result, the family I was visiting experienced the full range of my vocal capabilities and had to ask me not to use that kind of language in front of their children. Today, though, I was primed and ready for the assault. And by primed and ready I mean I walked, with great trepidation, to a spot approximately 15 feet from the porch and stared at the pigeon until it flew away. I had many, many contingency plans in place in case his course veered anywhere near me or he was feeling a bit rancorous. Contingency plans that basically consisted of the following: a) run behind that fence b) run behind that trashcan c) run to your car...so on and so forth. It's a good thing I've been practicing my running or those contingency plans would have just been silly.
But I'm pleased to report that the stare down worked. Mostly likely because he saw me eyeing a rock to throw at him. I then hastened to the door and knocked as quickly as possible.
And of course they were not home.
Which means I'll have to go back again and waste at least another thousand or so precious heartbeats that, quite frankly, I'm not sure I can spare. I've been wasting so many with all the running and such already.
You'd think they could at least post a "Beware of Pigeon" sign. It's just a common courtesy.
I LOVE your bird stories.
ReplyDeleteHe, he, he....I almost bought you a really pretty little plate the other day with a bird on it. -Steph
ReplyDelete